My most recent article is up at Weavings blog–a reflection on my time in Meteora, Greece, and what it taught me about relationship with God. Meteora is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, and the monasteries that sit on the tops of mountains have been a reflection, for me, of what it means to seek God.
I’d love for you to click over to Weavings and join me there!
My most recent piece about relationship with God is up at RELEVANT Magazine. I’d love for you to check it out!
“Having a personal relationship with God”—it’s a phrase that gets tossed around in many Christian circles. But what does it actually mean to have a relationship with the Savior of the Universe?
Knowing God is going to look different from any other relationship in our lives. We can’t see God. We can’t look across the table at our favorite coffee shop and talk with Jesus in bodily form. So, in a world where we cannot text God or send Him an email, what does it look like to be in a relationship—to be in a friendship—with the one who created all things (Colossians 1:16)?
Intentionality
No deep relationship happens apart from intentional cultivation. Even the relationships that seem to happen “organically” in our lives—those friends we click with immediately—need to be nurtured to one degree or another. We reach out to the people we care about, and we have to seek to be intentional in order to get to know one another. Determining that we actually do want to grow in our friendship with God—and then setting aside intentional time to spend with Him—is an important first step toward getting to know Him better.
No deep relationship happens apart from intentional cultivation.
But while we may be intentional about growing in relationship with God, it may seem challenging because we may not feel God’s intentionality toward us. Still, His intentionality in loving and knowing us is always, always there. The One who created us—the One who “knit [us] together” (Psalm 139:13)—has never wavered in His intentionality toward us. He made each of us specifically and with great love. We are worth a great deal to Him (Luke 12:6-7).
We don’t have to ask God to pencil us in to His calendar—He always has time for us. Whether it is 15 minutes in the morning where we read the Bible and pray, an hour-long jog while appreciating His creation, or a weekend retreat spent worshiping Him, consistent, intentional time spent getting to know God is one of the foundations of a deep relationship with Him.
Communication: Talking
But what do we do during the time that we’ve set aside to connect with God? As with earthly relationships, the hope is that we will communicate. Communication with God looks both similar and different from communication with earthly friends, but it includes what all healthy relationships include—sharing, confessing and praising.
We share our hearts with God through prayer and tell Him what we’re excited about, what we’re worried about, and what we are thinking about. We open up about the places we have fallen short and confess our sin to Him. And we praise Him for who He is and what we love about Him. We thank Him. We worship Him. Just as we tell our earthly friends how much we appreciate them and are thankful for them, we do the same with God—to the highest degree.
Read about another two aspects of relationship with God, Communication: Listening, and Acts of Love and Service over at RELEVANT!
I am so honored that fellow blogger Emily Gardner asked me to be a part of her latest series, “Perspectives on Motherhood and Writing.” She asked great questions about what writing looks like in the season of motherhood. I’d love for you to click over and read the full interview–and check out her lovely blog in the process!
Thanks again for including me, Emily! It was a blessing!
My newest piece is up today at Today’s Christian Woman–an article about how Michael and I sought to intentionally connect as a married couple (and not just as parenting partners) after having our daughter. What follows is an abbreviated version of the full article, which you can read here!
Pregnancy was difficult for me. Recovery from an unexpected C-section was difficult for me. The initial transition into motherhood was difficult for me. The lack of sleep was difficult for me. Why I expected our marriage to fly through all of these difficulties without any significant emotional ramifications is beyond me. Maybe it’s because, after being married for seven years, I assumed we would continue to connect well and operate the same way.
I was wrong.
It’s not that Michael and I didn’t still love each other. It’s not that we didn’t continue to have date nights. It’s not that we didn’t still spend time together. But it felt . . . different. I felt different. At times, I felt overwhelmed by how much my daughter needed me and by how little time there was to do anything other than care for her. As we emerged from the newborn stage, I found myself unsure about how to continue to invest in and develop my own passions, let alone the connection points in our marriage, when I felt so immersed in this new, tiny life.
Our marriage didn’t feel the same.
Looking back, I can say now to myself: of course it wasn’t the same. You had a baby. Your attentions are now divided. Your hormones are out of whack. You are a family of three rather than two. The external change is huge; the emotional change will be huge too.
But I didn’t have those thoughts then. I just had a lot of feelings—and primarily, I felt less connected to my husband than I ever had before. I didn’t want this shift to lead to a slow fade of operating as parenting partners rather than emotionally connected spouses.
As we talked with each other and with friends, we both committed, again, to making sure our marriage thrived in every season of life—including this new one with a baby. So we kicked our intentionality up a notch and made connecting as a married couple—and not just as parenting partners—a top priority in our lives.
The most important part of connecting as spouses? Prayer. We prayed—individually and together—for God’s grace and wisdom as we sought to stay meaningfully united in this new stage of life.
With God’s help, we also made several practical choices. First, we pared down our schedule. We had both been carrying full schedules before Ella was born; after her birth we realized our pace of life was not sustainable if we wanted to continue to have a healthy marriage. Michael took a break from graduate school, and while we kept attending a small group at church, we stepped down from leading it.
Secondly, we worked to share new experiences together. Parenting Ella was a new experience we loved, but we needed to continue to invest in our relationship as friends and lovers. Due to our exhaustion, date night had become routine—dinner at home and Shark Tank on the couch. So we mixed things up. We went to a matinee downtown. We went to a friend’s wedding without our daughter, even though she was invited. We took a vacation. These experiences offered new avenues within which our relationship could grow.
Marriage is about the God our marriage is meant to point to; it is about us looking and loving more like Jesus. Share on X
Thirdly, we went to a counseling and marriage retreat. With the help of a Christian counselor, we were given practical tools for how to grow together emotionally in this new season of life. We walked away from that week with a shared grid for how to encourage and support one another better.
But there’s no quick solution or easy answer to navigating these new waters since becoming parents. Our marriage has changed emotionally—as well as physically and practically—because we have changed. The transformation into becoming parents together has been a beautiful, stressful change for us, and with every new stage our daughter grows into, our marriage will have to grow as well. Our needs and hers are constantly shifting, and it will continue to take great intentionality and time—as well as heartfelt engagement with one another—to stay emotionally connected.
What does stay the same is God, along with the promises we made to one another at the altar so many years ago. We are committed to keeping our marriage as healthy as we can because, ultimately, our marriage isn’t about us. It is about the God our marriage is meant to point to; it is about us looking and loving more like Jesus; and it is also, now, about a little girl who is toddling around our home. That is worth our time, our love, our intentionality, and our commitment—in any season of life.
Read the full article here at Today’s Christian Woman!
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Oaks & Oats // Amy Cornwell // Simplicity Relished
Rachel Rewritten // Trusty Chucks // Wear Flowers In Your Hair
She Lives Free // Elah Tree // Mandy Living Life
We are a group of independent women who are joining together to make this conference happen for two of our readers. The two recipients will only receive tickets to the event & are responsible for ALL other expenses, including but not limited to travel, lodging, meals, parking, etc. If for some reason either of the winners cannot attend the conference they will be expected to contact one of the hosts immediately so that another winner can be chosen.
My newest piece is over at RELEVANT today–a consideration of the importance of the Sabbath in our modern lives. I know that God’s heart is for us to be a people who rest Him and trust in Him, and I believe that observing the Sabbath is one of the key ways we can do that practically in our increasingly full lives.
I would love for you to click over, read through it, and let me know your thoughts. Do you observe the Sabbath? Why or why not?
