{"id":1183,"date":"2015-04-08T11:46:29","date_gmt":"2015-04-08T16:46:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/?p=1183"},"modified":"2015-06-26T21:03:30","modified_gmt":"2015-06-27T02:03:30","slug":"dating-your-spouse-no-excuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/2015\/04\/08\/dating-your-spouse-no-excuses\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating Your Spouse: No Excuses"},"content":{"rendered":"

My newest piece is up at Todays Christian Woman<\/a>, entitled “5 Reasons to Avoid Date Night (But Why You Should Date Your Spouse Anyway). Michael and I have had a standing date every week of our married lives–this article shares my heart behind why we’re so committed to dating one another in every season of life!<\/p>\n

\"Dating<\/a><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all heard about the importance of consistent dates with our spouse. It sounds ideal\u2014a romantic date every week\u2014but there are a thousand reasons why it feels difficult (if not impossible) to make happen.<\/p>\n

Here are five reasons to avoid date night. Oh, and why you should date your spouse anyway<\/em>.<\/p>\n

1. \u201cDating Is Too Expensive\u201d<\/h4>\n

If you\u2019re talking about the versions of dating that pop up on social media and TV, then, yes, you\u2019re probably right. Expensive restaurants, Broadway shows, sparkling jewelry\u2014most of us would be thrilled if we got a date like this with our spouse once a year, or even once a decade. Because those kinds of dates, with the wining and dining and trying to impress each other all the time, aren\u2019t feasible for most of us.<\/p>\n

But there is something that is feasible: connection. Connection comes not through the amount of money spent, but the amount of heart invested.<\/em> Some of the best dates my husband and I have had took place during walks at the local arboretum. Strolling on the paths, we had time to unfold our hearts to one another and to enjoy holding hands in a lovely setting.<\/p>\n

Connection comes not through the amount of money spent, but the amount of heart invested. <\/a><\/span>Share on X<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Now that we have a child, if we want to have\u00a0any<\/em>\u00a0meaningful connection, it usually has to take place after she\u2019s asleep or when we\u2019re out and she\u2019s with a babysitter. We try to have a date night out at least once a month. If we\u2019re paying for a babysitter, our date is usually cheap (or free). We go for walks in the park, have coffee at a local caf\u00e9, or read part of a book together at the library. Make a list of cheap date night ideas with your spouse and pick one!<\/p>\n

If money is really tight and there\u2019s no option for paying a babysitter, consider swapping childcare with friends. You can also get creative with at-home dates. Turn your phones off and cook a late meal together after the kids go down. Watch a unique film you\u2019re both interested in, and if you are so inclined, talk about it afterwards. Get competitive with a card game. Relax with a new flavor of ice cream bought especially for date night. What you do doesn\u2019t matter as much as the choice you make to invest your time and attention in one another.<\/p>\n

2. \u201cI Don\u2019t Have Time\u201d<\/h4>\n

If you let other people control your calendar, then, yes, you\u2019re probably right. There\u2019s always going to be one more meeting, project, or sports practice that you\u2014or one of your kids\u2014has<\/em>\u00a0to be at. But ask yourself this: \u00a0Would you ignore your child\u2019s query for dinner as easily as you can ignore your spouse\u2019s (or your own) need to talk?<\/p>\n

Would you ignore your boss\u2019s requests for that deadline as easily as you ignore your marriage\u2019s need for connection time? <\/a><\/span>Share on X<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We make time for what we value.<\/em> If you value your marriage and the person you made a covenant at the altar to love, you need to make time for your spouse.<\/p>\n

Prior to marriage, many of us had months\u2014perhaps even years\u2014of lavishing time upon one another. Dates stretched into hours upon hours of conversation and laughter. We prioritized our significant other above other relationships and our time bent toward him accordingly. While we may not have time for hours-long dates any more, we can make intentional time for one another if we really want to. We can say no to another meeting, no to another sports team, and no to another obligation. And in the process, we can say yes to a standing date with our spouse on Tuesday nights or Friday mornings or Sunday afternoons\u2014no excuses. Just as no friendship is sustainable without consistent connection, no marriage will thrive without consistent time together.<\/p>\n

When you put a consistent date night on the calendar, you\u2019re telling your spouse that you value your relationship above all others. It\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n

3. \u201cMy Marriage Is Beyond Help\u201d<\/h4>\n

If your marriage is in a difficult place, sometimes the thought of spending intentional time together feels confusing\u2014or even painful. The idea of a night full of forced conversation (or lackluster intimacy) may not be your idea of a good time. But if a marriage is going to heal, connection has to start somewhere. And dates don\u2019t always have to be fun to be meaningful. Sometimes working through deep issues on a date night is just as important as laughing together.<\/p>\n

Perhaps your date nights don\u2019t look like a cozy evening on the couch or a hand-holding walk through the park. Where\u00a0can<\/em>\u00a0you start? Might a meal together outside of the home provide an opportunity for conversation that doesn\u2019t revolve around the kids or work? Could a morning jog together offer a chance to connect in a different\u2014and still meaningful\u2014way? Would you be able to attend a Bible study or small group together?<\/p>\n

If all of this still feels too hard, it might be that your dates need to be at a counselor\u2019s office, where you can work through pain in a safe environment. The point of a \u201cdate\u201d is to get closer to your spouse. Don\u2019t assume that dating your spouse has to look one particular way. Start where you are, and move forward from there.<\/p>\n

Read the final two reasons here, over at Today’s Christian Woman<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you liked this post, you might enjoy: Dating Your Husband: The Hows and Whys<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Was this blog post encouraging to you? I would be honored if you would\u00a0consider partnering with me as a writer<\/a>!\u00a0Click here<\/a>!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My newest piece is up at Todays Christian Woman, entitled “5 Reasons to Avoid Date Night (But Why You Should Date Your Spouse Anyway). Michael and I have had a standing date every week of our married lives–this article shares my heart behind why we’re so committed to dating one another in every season of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1184,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,433,5,6],"tags":[49,61,195,434,437,435,257,34,436,438,52],"class_list":["post-1183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-about","category-dating-your-spouse-2","category-life","category-marriage","tag-christian-marriage","tag-christianity","tag-date-night","tag-date-night-ideas","tag-dating-ideas","tag-dating-your-husband","tag-dating-your-spouse","tag-faith","tag-healthy-marriage","tag-is-date-night-worth-it","tag-jesus","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Date-Your-Spouse.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1183"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1185,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1183\/revisions\/1185"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1184"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annswindell.com\/staging\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}