So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview with Jess Connolly

August 4, 2014 by 1 Comment

Today is the last interview in the Church Lady series that has been running all summer here on my blog. It has been so amazing to get to hear from the incredible women who participated in this series. If you haven’t had a chance to read them all, it is definitely worth your time. Every single one of these women are laying their lives down for the sake of the Gospel and for the Church. They are lovers of Jesus, lovers of their families, and lovers of people. It has been an honor to hear from each of them.

We end this series today with the privilege of getting to hear from Jess Connolly, the gracious woman behind her blog, Jess Connolly, and her business, Naptime Diaries. This woman is a powerhouse–she is a church-planting pastor’s wife, a mom of four, a blogger, a shop owner, and the co-founder of The Influence Conference and The Influence Network. I’m thankful she took the time to talk about church for this series. Make sure to connect with Jess through her blog!

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Jessi Connolly

1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.
The church I’m apart of is my husband’s first solo church plant. We’re here in Charleston, SC. We had our first public service in January of this year and we’re having fun. It’s crazy and wild and our home is basically our church right now – but it’s so fun watching this community grow.

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
In my life, to be active in my church, looks like loving on my husband, supporting him and listening to him, praying for him. It looks like being my kid’s main caregiver so that he is freed up to go about his schedule – which can fluctuate at any moment due to meetings, etc. It looks like loving on the women – discipling them, welcoming them into our home and seeing our day to day life. It looks like picking up and serving where there are needs, even if I don’t feel very good at that form of serving. Mostly, it looks like embodying Gospel Community – celebrating the good news that Jesus came for me, and doing so in the midst of community. 

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
In this season, I wouldn’t say I’m out and out using my gifts for our church. I’m not writing or speaking for our church, but that doesn’t mean that my gifts aren’t being sharpened. As I’m discipling women and walking in humility, I’m remembering and growing in the power of the gospel. For me, doing the very real on the ground work of meeting with women and seeing where they’re at, it really helps me as I move forward publicly sharing the gospel, speaking and writing elsewhere.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Being a part of a church challenges me to stay near the heart of the gospel. Being in community and growing together reminds me that this faith is not all about me. I genuinely can’t imagine walking intimately with the Lord without community.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
 I value the church because I think it will absolutely sustain. Culture changes, our hearts change, our feelings change, but God’s Word and His hope for His bride stands firm. There are times where I don’t necessarily want to believe that and I’d rather be left alone to do my own thing, but I know that isn’t best.

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Thank you so much, Jess–both for sharing your heart here and for living your life faithfully for Jesus and his people. And thank you to all of the women who participated in this series! I am blessed and honored to have had your voices shared here.

So You Say You're a Church Lady?
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Church is for the Whole Family, or Why We Took our 1-year old on a Mission Trip

July 16, 2014 by 5 Comments

Family on Mission

A few weeks ago, we were getting back from Tijuana, Mexico and our church’s family mission trip. Those words don’t always go together–“family” and “mission trip.” But our church is committed to ministry that is done with the entire family, which I love and which also makes me feel like we are slightly crazy. Crazy because we had children from six months of age to fourteen on this trip–and between the three Antioch churches that connected together to serve our sister church in Tijuana, there were nearly 100 of us in Tijuana. With lots and lots of small kids running around in a foreign city, in a place where most of us don’t speak the language, there was bound to be some chaos. Some kids got sick, some kids got really tired, some kids got really cranky (let’s be honest: a lot of us adults got really cranky).

And that, I found, is ok. Church is for the whole family, not just those who are old enough to sit quietly or travel well or eat whatever is put in front of them. Being on mission–serving others and sharing the Gospel and intentionally seeking to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a place where you don’t know your way around town–this is not just for people who are old enough to tie their own shoes and talk about faith competently and theologically.

Nope.

Church is for the whole family. Which means that being on mission is for the whole family. Which means that it is worth it to take my one-year old on a trip she will not remember to a nation where we know no one and share the Gospel with people in a language we barely speak. Because we are a family. And I refuse to keep my child out of church and out of doing what the church does until she is “old enough.”

Ella in Mexico

Was it challenging and difficult at times? Yes. Was it fun and exciting and rewarding at times, too? Yes.

I want church and ministry and mission to be so woven into the fabric of our life as a family that it is Ella’s baseline for normal. And so she does church with us now. We show up every Sunday for service, even when it interrupts her nap. She comes to small group and plays with the college kids on Tuesday nights. She dances while Mom and Dad play worship music in the house. She listens while Daddy practices his sermons. And she comes with us when we go on mission trips.

And she is learning a lot of things, even now, that she doesn’t have words for. And it is worth it. Because He is worth it.

(And, praise God for the Ergo. And for squeezie pouches that make it through customs. Amen.)

Church is For the Whole Family(or, why

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So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview with Rachel Olson

July 14, 2014 by 1 Comment

Well, this Church Lady series keeps heartening and challenging me–I hope it is doing the same for you! Today we get to heart from the wonderful Rachel Olson. I met Rachel at the Hope Spoken conference this last spring, and she was a joy to interact with right off the bat. We talked about life and ministry and her sweet son, and I felt so welcomed in her presence. Rachel is a woman after God’s heart, and I’m excited for you to hear from her today! Connect with Rachel on her blog or on Instagram, too.

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Rachel Olson Family

1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.
Our wonderful church of 300 members sits on the outskirts of our small Michigan town. My husband, Josh, was assigned to be an associate pastor here after he graduated from Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary in 2010. Our church is one of over 1,700 congregations all over the world that make up the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. Both Josh and I have been WELS members for our entire lives and this entire church body, the people and the work being done in Jesus’ name, is very important and special to us!

 2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
You know the lady who comes running into church as the service is starting with a little one on her hip, wet hair, and cracker crumbs on her shoulder? That is me sometimes. In the early years of my Josh’s ministry, I was involved quite a bit “behind the scenes” but was somewhat limited in what I was able to help with as mamahood needed to come first. What an encouragement it was to me that our congregation accepted that with such ease and grace! Now that my son is a bit older, I help coordinate our youth Sunday School program, organize fellowship and outreach events, and take part in various ladies groups and Bible classes. My biggest involvement in our church is supporting my fantastic, hard working husband in his role as pastor. He always says that he couldn’t do what he does without my help and support. What a joy and privilege!

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
One unique gift I have been given is the ability to chat with anyone and everyone about anything at anytime. J I am a people person, a cheerleader, an encourager. My goal on Sunday mornings and all throughout the week is to greet people with a smile, ask questions, and truly connect with them. As time has passed since we began serving here, I have been able to go from simple, easy small talk with church members or people in the community to more deep and meaningful conversations with them. I hope that means I am a trusted person in their life. I truly love my church family and want to know each and every one of them. Some relationships have come easy and others I really have to work at, but they are all precious to me. I am in awe that God can use me (me!!) to impact and encourage these beautiful, flawed, redeemed-by-Jesus people.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Let me tell you a secret. I never planned on being a pastor’s wife because I married a carpenter. Well, God’s plans are certainly not our plans! And they blow ours out of the water with goodness and grace. Two years into our marriage, my husband felt very strongly about going to Seminary so we switched gears and here we are! Over the past four years, we have had some ups and downs, hurts and frustrations in our ministry, but that is expected in a sinful world that needs a Savior. Being a pastor’s wife has taught me that it’s not about me. At all! It is about sharing Jesus and loving others well. Even when it’s hard. Even when it feels like we aren’t getting anywhere. Even when we are tired or discouraged. Those are the times that we lean even more into the arms of our Lord who is Love and Strength and Peace. He will carry us through.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
Church has forever been and will always be important to me because it is the body of Christ. Jesus is the head and the Church is His body. I certainly want to be a part of this unique and beautiful mystery designed by God! My prayer every day, for myself and for our entire church, is for guidance, courage, and opportunities to be His hands, His mouth piece, His feet. I want everything we do and say to be for His glory. I love that this work of ministry does not rest on one person’s shoulders, but instead as a group we can come together and function as one.

Church is a gift and it is a giver. It is both. I come and am filled up so that I can serve and give and live for Him.

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So You Say You're a Church Lady?

Rachel, thank you so much! You are a woman of grace and joy, and I’m so thankful for the ways that you love God and his people so well. Thanks for opening up your heart and life with us today; I’m so glad I know you!

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So You Say You’re a Church Lady: My Response

June 30, 2014 by 3 Comments

I’m adding my own voice to the Church Lady series today—not because I think I’m a “powerhouse woman” by any means, but because I love the church and wanted to share my heart for the church with you, my readers! The other women who I have interviewed so far have inspired and challenged me, and I am grateful for each one of them. I hope my thoughts can add even just a little more fuel to the fire of our passion for Jesus and His church!

So You Say You're a Church Lady?

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1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.

My husband is the College Pastor at Antioch Community Church in Wheaton, a non-denominational church in the Chicago suburbs. Our local church is part of a larger church-planting organization (Antioch International Movement of Churches) that has multiple churches in the US and overseas!

 2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?

Even before Michael stepped in to full-time ministry, we were always actively involved in church. Now that he’s a pastor, it is just a little more “official.” I help him lead the college ministry by discipling female leaders, hosting and helping lead small groups, and generally just being available for whatever our church needs, whether that is showing up for a meeting, helping with a retreat, or bringing food to an event!

Swindell Family

 3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?

The church is amazing because it’s the place where a bunch of amateurs get to do meaningful, life-changing work. I say that with deep joy and love—I’m thankful that God uses amateurs! My gifts of developing and discipling other women flourish in the church even though I don’t have any formal training in that area. But God has taught me through his word and through his presence and through his people how to love and lead others in the church.

I went to school for many years in order to get the academic degrees that I have—degrees that give me the credentials I need to teach at the college level and have access to impacting the lives of my students every week. But I don’t have to hold a degree to impact others at church. My life and the fruit of my life are the things that matter within the walls of the church—and I can impact others without having any fancy letters behind my name. We all can. That’s a huge relief—and a high calling.

 4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?

I am an achiever, and I like being able to move from one task to another with purpose and clarity. Church doesn’t work that way, because people don’t work that way. People—who the church is made up of—need love, cultivation, guidance, accountability…the list goes on. I need all of those things; you need all of those things. But we don’t move from one plane of growth to another seamlessly. “Through many trials, thorns, and snares I have already come…” Church is the place where we help one another through those trials and where we help one another continue to say yes to Jesus. It’s difficult at times. Very difficult. People don’t always respond well to pain or to challenge—I sure don’t 100 percent of the time! But as I continue to learn to love God’s people, I continue to learn more about the boundless love of Christ. And that is what has both challenged and changed me. God’s love is changing his people, and it’s changing me as I learn to love them.

 5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?

I value Church because Jesus values Church—if His bride was worth his life then it can certainly be worth mine. My time, my energy, my heart, my tears, my life—it all belongs to Christ. If he spent all he had for the people of God, I want to give my life doing the same.

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Why Your Pastor Needs a High Five and a Cup of Coffee

April 28, 2014 by Leave a Comment

I love church. I really do. I love the Church with a capital “C”—the church universal that Jesus died for, filled with every tribe and nation and people and tongue. And I love our particular church that meets in a gym every Sunday and has so many new babies in the congregation that our nursery is overrun. I’ve written about it before, but I care about the church, and I believe that every person who follows Jesus is called to love and serve a local church body.

Your Pastor Needs a High Five

With my favorite pastor and our baby girl

One of the many things I have realized, since becoming a pastor’s wife, is that most pastors live in the simultaneous reality of 1.) loving what they do and 2.) being tired. Sometimes, they are just kind of tired. But other times, they are very, very tired. Getting to pastor the people of God is an incredible gift, but it is also a job that doesn’t have very clear start and end times. Ministering is messy; people don’t have important questions and life crises only between the hours of 8 am and 6 pm. Work and ministry and life bleed into one another. And yes, sometimes pastors need better boundaries. But sometimes life and ministry are one and the same thing—and that’s ok. But it can also be tiring.

I don’t know who your pastor is (unless you go to my church, and then I do! ::hi!::), and I don’t know what kind of season your pastor is in. But I can guarantee that every pastor appreciates encouragement. Your pastor probably loves pastoring, but is probably kind of tired on some level, too—as most of us are. Here are some simple ways to encourage the pastors in your life:

1. Say thank you. Say thank you on Sunday. Send a quick note of thanks to their office. Write an email thanking him or her for a something specific. This will go so, so much farther than you think.

2. Drop coffee–or food–off at the office. Find out when the weekly staff meeting is and drop by with donuts or coffee. You just made the staff’s entire week. They will know they are loved and thought of other than just on Sundays.

3. Invite the pastor’s family over for dinner. They may not be able to come, but either way they will feel loved. And, if they can come, great! Get to know each other a bit better.

4. Speak well of them behind their backs. There’s a lot of pastor-bashing out there, and every pastor knows it. Having someone who will say something nice about you to others–that’s a true gift.

5. Give your pastor a break. Was the sermon *not the best* this week? Did he seem a little grumpy after service? Extend grace. You never know what was going on behind the scenes. We all have rough days–or weeks–at work. It’s just that, as a pastor, lots of people expect you to be really good at what you do all the time. It’s not possible. Acknowledging that your pastor is a broken human gives him the space he needs to extend grace to himself, too.

Simple Ways to Love Your Pastor

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The Lie of Feeling “Behind” in Life

March 24, 2014 by 14 Comments

You're not behind-in life

Michael and I are in a season that has required a lot of energy—both physical and emotional—from both of us. We are still getting this first year of parenting under our belts, and Ella has had three ear infections in three months (read: lots of interrupted sleep). Between our jobs, our parenting, our commitments to church, and our marriage, our proverbial plates are full. We love all that we do, and it’s more than some people do and much less than others. Either way, let’s just say that for us, life feels more than a bit stretched.

My tendency in seasons like this is to feel overwhelmed most of the time and carry that emotion as a burden. I fight anxiety or the nagging feeling of constantly being “behind.” This is an area of my life that I am seeking to surrender to God. It is a continual journey for me to say yes to God and declare that my feelings do not determine the truth. The truth is what God says, and he tells me that I am securely held in his hands.

I am not “behind” in life if I am in step with Christ. Next to him—with him—is the exact place I’m supposed to be. If his pace with me is slower than it is with my best friend or my colleague, it is not my responsibility to try to catch up to them. In doing so, I would leave Jesus behind. Similarly, if his pace with me is faster than it is with my friend or my neighbor and if I slow down rather than pressing ahead with him, I leave Jesus behind.

I am not “behind” in life if I am in step with Christ. Share on X

Now—truly—Jesus never leaves or forsakes us. I know that I can’t really leave Jesus behind. The one who “fills all in all” (Eph. 1:23) cannot be left behind. But I can move out of the place of peace he offers to me when I am constantly comparing myself to others or considering how my life measures up to theirs. That’s where this feeling of being “behind” comes from, when it comes down to it: comparison. Because if I am only considering my life in light of what Christ is calling me to, I won’t think about being behind—or ahead. My only goal will be staying in step with him.

Some of us feel behind because we’re not married yet, or we don’t have children yet, or we don’t have the career we want yet, or we don’t have the _____  yet. Fill in your own blank. That feeling of being behind can fill us with anxiety, even fear. We are afraid we are missing out on the life that we should have.

My question to you is this—Where is Jesus in your life? Are you ahead of him? Are you desperately looking for a spouse when he hasn’t yet clearly opened that season in your life? Are you imagining your life when you have three kids and the white fence, placing all of your hopes in a future that has not yet materialized? Are you running into opportunities that Jesus hasn’t granted to you? Slow down. Stay in step with him. Don’t run headlong into things that God doesn’t have for you. You will end up moving forward, sure enough, but without Jesus—and that is not really moving forward at all.

Are you behind him, dragging your feet against what you know he’s called you to? Is there some relationship that needs to be mended that you refuse to reconcile? Is there some leap of faith he is calling you to take in your work or your life that you are hesitating on the edge of? Take the leap—run ahead and into Jesus. There is no better place to be.

And if you’re in step with Christ—doing what you’re called to, seeking to grow with him—stay put. Even if those around you are running ahead or slowing their pace, you are exactly where you are meant to be: with Jesus. If, like me, you tend to worry about being “behind” in life, look over and see the one who loves you more than his own life. See Jesus. He has you where he has you because he loves you.

What does it look like for you to stay in step with Jesus in this season?

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