Sending Love

January 31, 2015 by Leave a Comment

Michael has told me, many times over the course of our marriage, that I have helped him learn how to celebrate. It’s not something I think about as an abstract concept very often–this idea of being a celebrator, this way that I look for any opportunity to have a party or gather others together. But it’s in me; it’s how I’m wired. Celebrating–and taking the time to acknowledge accomplishments or milestones–it’s something I deeply love.

In my mind, however, events or milestones don’t need to hit some sort of threshold in order to merit a celebration. Birthday? To the nines! Long weekend? Celebrate! Acceptance to grad school? Party central! Half-anniversary? Why not! I don’t discriminate when it comes to celebration. In my humble opinion, we don’t celebrate one another–and God’s presence in our lives–nearly enough.

Which is why, in the midst of preparing our home to sell and the busy start of a new semester, I still wanted to have some Valentine’s Day cards for Ella to give to friends and family. I’m not in a season of life where I’m gluing glitter and hand-lettering envelopes, but I sure can whip up a cute card over at Minted. I’ve used them before for our Christmas cards and even bought my parent’s Christmas present–a photo art-print–from Minted this year. Their quality is lovely, and their website is user-friendly (a must for this mama).

Even though Ella has no idea what Valentine’s Day is, and even though it’s not particularly one of my favorite holidays, I think the concept of giving and receiving notes of friendship and love is a tradition that would do well to continue throughout the year! Love comes in hundreds of forms, and I’m hoping that Ella will learn, early, that the love found through good friendship is one of God’s greatest gifts–and is something worth celebrating any day of the year!

So, I (quickly) found this card that I knew Ella would like–she is very into coloring these days–and added her name and a cute photo of her on the back. Grandparents? Check. Little toddler friends? Check. Memory book? Check.

Image-1 (1)

There’s still time to order a set of valentines from Minted–even foil-pressed ones!–if you’re looking for something adorable and easy.

And if you’re not feeling particularly celebrated this time of year, remember: God himself is singing over you, rejoicing in you.

You are loved more than you could ever imagine.

Affiliate links are included in this post, as I am an affiliate for Minted!

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Secure and Steadfast: Learning to Trust

January 28, 2015 by 3 Comments

SECURE and STEADFAST-LEARNING TO TRUST

Some of you may already know, but it’s not something I’ve shared in this space yet: we are moving this summer, to a new city and a new adventure. My husband will be in graduate school for the next three-ish years, and we will be closer to family as he studies and works on finishing his degree.

There are so many things I’m excited about in this transition–a new city to explore, new relationships to form, being next door to my sister, opportunities to grow. Most of all, I’m excited to follow the Lord, as this is the next door he has opened for us in this great journey of walking with Him.

But I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t nervous, too. I’ve lived in Chicagoland for all of my adult life; Michael and I have been in this same city for over a decade. We have a rich community of friends and a church that we love. We have jobs. None of these things that have been so central and grounding for us in this town will be present when we move this summer.

And so it feels like starting all over again–and, in many ways, it is. As a recovering control-freak, all of the details of moving–selling the house, looking for jobs, finding a new home, making new friendships–these have the ability to freak. me. out. If I spend too much time thinking about those things, I start spiraling into a mental place of worry, fear, and doubt. I imagine all of the things that could go wrong and all of the ways that this move might not go well.

But God is continually calling me back to one thing: trusting Him. I mentioned it on my Instagram account earlier this month, but my word for the year is TRUST. I always need to trust Jesus, but this year in particular, when all of the cards of our life are up in the air, I feel the need to trust God in a deeper way, perhaps in a way I haven’t felt the need to trust him before. I need to trust him, deeply and wholeheartedly, with our family’s finances, our family’s friendships, and our family’s future. Because I have no idea how any of those things will get worked out in the next six months.

And yet, hasn’t this always been the case? Of course it has; it’s just that the trusting hasn’t felt as desperate in the past. I have always needed to trust God to give me even my daily bread, but I don’t always think that way. In truth, I have nothing apart from him and I am nothing apart from him. But when life starts rolling along, that desperation of needing to rely on Jesus tends to fade for me.

So here I stand, at the start of a year that will look nothing like it does at the end of it. In twelve months, nearly everything externally will have changed. But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever, and I am aware of my deep need to trust in him afresh. Trusting is difficult at times; I don’t always feel a deep sense of security or safety. But trusting God does not always mean that we feel secure or steadfast–it means that He is secure and steadfast, regardless of our feelings.

Trusting God does not mean that we feel secure or steadfast--it means that He is secure and steadfast, regardless of our feelings. Share on X

He is constant in his kindness, his salvation, and his love. He is a good Father who gives good gifts to his children. I can rely on who He is even when I’m not sure where I’m going–practically or emotionally. And so this year, I am choosing to trust him, again and again. He is good, and his love endures forever.

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

I can count on Him to lead us and care for us. You can, too. Here’s to a year of wholehearted, un-hindered trust in Jesus–the One who is completely trustworthy.

Filed Under: About, God, Life, Marriage, Ministry, Uncategorized, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

The Wonder-filled Power of Words: Thoughts on Teaching, Writing, and Words

January 21, 2015 by 5 Comments

I spend two days every week teaching college students about creative writing. I don’t teach them how to write; that is a simple but complex art form that most of us work out over the course of a lifetime. Rather, we spend most of our hours together discussing works of literature, practicing techniques, and experimenting with various stylistic choices. Through reading, we seek to understand what other writers have done well. Through writing, we seek to discover our own voice and ability as we try new things and push the boundaries of what we are used to doing with language.

I love my job. LOVE. MY. JOB.

Yesterday, I left the classroom on a professional and spiritual high. Because yesterday, we were talking about something I’m ridiculously passionate about—the power of words. Oh, the surprising power of words. Words shape us. They shape how we see ourselves; they shape how we see God. Long after a conversation or interaction, the words we hear from others can sting and wound, or they can bind up and heal. Words reveal our hearts—they point to what’s really there, and they often bubble up from places in our souls deeper than we understand.

In class yesterday, we talked about the fact that God spoke the universe into existence with a word. We read the first five verses of the book of John and were reminded of that beautiful and timeless declaration that Jesus is, himself, the Word—and that who God is and how he is are bound up in the power of words.

Power of Words.1

How amazing, then–how surprising and wonder-filled–that we should share in this mighty power of words. How incredible–how difficult to believe–that God would entrust us with words. We are privileged and charged with using these tiny instruments for good. For peace. For encouragement. For hope. For glory–His and not our own.

I have my students read Walter Wangerin’s An Ethic for Aesthetics, a beautiful consideration of how one author has covenanted with God and his community regarding the ways that he will use his words. And we talk about using words with intention and wisdom, with power and with grace. And we talk about how hard it is to do these things well, and how necessary it is to have empathy for others if we are going to write about them, and how necessary it is to have grace for ourselves if we are going to write about ourselves.

Words shape who we are, and they shape who we become. At the beginning of time, God used words to shape all of creation into its beautiful, spinning presence. And at the end of all days, the Word himself will return and right all things that have gone wrong. I ache for that day. I long for it. And until that great return of the Word turned flesh turned Lamb turned King, I will seek to use my words to point to him.

At the end of all days, the Word himself will return and right all things that have gone wrong. Share on X

These unassuming marks on screens and pages, these syllables that bounce out of our mouths and bubble up from our hearts, they matter. So deeply. Let us be those who use them to right the wrongs that we can, to love the hearts that need binding up, and to speak to ourselves–and to others–the Truth that came through the Word made flesh.

Filed Under: About, God, Life, Uncategorized, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Gift of Celebration, The Gift of Friendship

January 14, 2015 by 16 Comments

Celebrate well

I’m a celebrator by nature. I love throwing parties, surprising people, and making up excuses to celebrate the people I love. I love being the one to gather friends together to show them why they are worthy of encouragement, attention, and time. Celebrating is a love language for me.

But my birthday falls in January, which, I’ve found, is not a great time to have a birthday if you like celebrating. For most of us, January is recovery month. We’re tired, we’ve used all our vacation time, we’ve made New Year’s resolutions that forbid us from eating sugar or carbs, we’re sick of seeing people, and we just spent a lot of money at Christmas. We’re tired of celebrating once January rolls around. We want to hibernate. We want to hole away.

Therein lies my problem; birthdays are special to me.

But then, last year, a friend asked me how I would feel most loved for my birthday. She wanted to celebrate me, she said. Even in her asking, I felt loved. And I told her the truth: I wanted to be with my closest friends, and I wanted to share a meal together. No gifts, no songs—just time gathered around the table.

And that is what happened, in the cold and dreary month of January. Ten of us shared a meal. We paid for babysitters so that our conversation could go deep; that in and of itself was a precious gift of time and money. Each friend surprised me by sharing an encouragement for my coming year of life. They told me how they saw Jesus at work in me, and they prayed for me. I sat there and felt deeply celebrated, and deeply welcomed into the new year of my life by the friends I loved the most. In my memory, it remains a holy and beautiful night.

To me, I have come to realize how that night encapsulates what is meant to be at the center of every gathering; in fact, what is meant to be at the heart of friendship. For true friendship is a kind of gathering. It is pulling people together around a shared table or on a soft couch, and it will cost us in time and even in money. True friendship means giving those things that my friends offered to me on my birthday night—time, encouragement, intentionality, welcome, love. And true friendship is celebration; it is seeing what is worthy of encouragement in those we love and declaring those things over them. It is seeing the presence of Jesus in the other and acknowledging his beauty through them.

Birthdays only happen once every twelve months, but gathering to celebrate those we love—to speak truth and hope and encouragement to them and over them—that can happen any time of the year. We can gather in coffee shops and pray for one another. We can gather on playgrounds and encourage one another. We can gather around kitchen tables and welcome one another. We can gather in restaurants and celebrate one another. And we can gather, always, and love one another—no matter where, no matter when. 

If this blog post was encouraging to you, I would be honored if you would consider partnering with me as a writer! Click here to read more!

 

Filed Under: About, God, Life, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

God-Help Instead of Self-Help

January 7, 2015 by Leave a Comment

My newest article is up at Today’s Christian Woman, where I have the privilege of being a regular contributor.

GETTING

Here’s the start of the article:

There’s no denying we are a nation of people looking for help. Although we may try to seem put together on the outside, our book purchases alone point to a different reality: we are struggling, and we’re looking for help anywhere we can find it. “Self-help” is an entire industry in this nation that generates roughly $10 billion per year—and the industry shows no signs of slowing down. Whether you want to read about fixing broken relationships, living more healthily, making more money, or finding contentment, there’s a self-help book—or 50—out there for you. And if you are willing to spend the time and the money, there are myriad options for self-help conferences, webcasts, and personal coaching, along with the thousands of books you can read.

It’s common for self-help books to tout that they offer the key to “win in life and business” and “unlock the way to life’s riches.” And why not? Who doesn’t want to have a better life, make more money, and experience more happiness? Who doesn’t want life to be easier, simpler, faster?

Chasing an Illusion
But perhaps what we want is something we were never promised—and so we’re chasing an illusion.

We live complex, challenging lives, and many of the promises offered by self-help gurus seem wonderful and easy. Too easy. We want a quick way out of our difficult marriage without having to work through the pain. We want to make money easily and without having to work diligently. We want to feel happy without having to face our own brokenness.

Jesus is clear—unapologetically so—in telling his followers that “in this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33, NIV). This life is not meant to be perfect. In fact, Scripture tells us this earth isn’t our real home—we are “foreigners” on this earth (Hebrews 11:13) and our real home is in heaven (Philippians 3:20). If we’re longing for perfection and pure happiness on this earth, we will always be disappointed.

The “Self Problem” with Self-Help

There’s a second problem with the self-help industry: the self-help industry depends—unsurprisingly—on self. In the solar system of self-help, the sun in the center of it all is you—and, apparently, you can make everything better on your own if you can just read the right books and access the right resources. Ultimately, the focus of self-help books comes down to a reliance on self as the one who can make things right.

This reliance on self, though, is in directly opposition to Christianity. As believers in Christ, we have already declared—through our very faith in Jesus as our Savior—that we are not reliant upon ourselves. We are reliant upon Jesus. In fact, when we believed in Christ as our Lord and Savior, we acknowledged that we cannot save ourselves at all. We cannot get “better,” in any way, on our own. We need a Savior to rescue us from our sin and from ourselves, and the danger of the self-help industry is that it lures us to look for help outside of Jesus.

This doesn’t mean self-help books and media are all bad. Some offer helpful insights on how to relate to others and set healthy boundaries on our time and with our money. But if we find ourselves looking to self-help materials rather than turning to Jesus, we are looking for ultimate help where it can’t be found.

Continue to read the rest of article here!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Life, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Ways to Start the Year off Right

January 3, 2015 by 4 Comments

3 Ways to Start the year off right (1)

I tend to love the beginnings of things. This year ahead is fresh and new, and I have learned that if I don’t intentionally pursue the things that refresh my soul, those things won’t happen. We have to take meaningful steps toward renewing our hearts and minds in Christ, and there may not be a better time to do that than right now, when our calendars are full of more white space than they will be for awhile.

Here are some ways that we can look at how we are living at the start of this new year and invite God to lead us into better ways of living.

Make Time for Solitude and Silence

When I was in college, I had a professor that took a day off every month to retreat from the world and re-center his life by spending a day with God. He would spend the entire day at a retreat center, speaking with no one and spending long stretches of time in solitude and silence. The silence, he said, gave him time to reflect on the deep places in his life that constant noise and stimuli kept him from ever reaching internally.

In our media-drenched culture, colors, lights, advertisements, and technology surround us. There is always another thing to buy that promises happiness, or something to look at to amuse or entertain us. What happens when we get away from all of these things? What happens when we are alone, without anything to distract us? Often, the deep longings of our heart begin to surface when they have the time and space to bubble up in our minds. The things we really hope for and care about become prominent in our thoughts. Our true heart has the space to come out.

It is hard to get to this place. When I spend time alone, in silence, I am often bombarded by thoughts of things that need to get done, of projects that are unfinished. If I followed every rabbit-trail that came into my head, I would never reach actual silence, because the noise inside of me can become so loud. I have found that tangibly writing down the “to do” list that pops up in my mind helps release me from having to listen to those thoughts anymore. With the ideas written down, I can set them aside and focus on reflecting on life.

Pray

Prayer is the best way to truly refresh, because it connects us with the One who knows us best—God. By spending time to ask God about our thoughts and our lives, we can connect with our Creator in meaningful ways that will truly give our spirit life. I have found that taking chunks of time to read the Bible and pray has significantly changed my life. If you find that it’s hard to concentrate for extended periods of time, try taking a walk while you talk with God, or journal your thoughts by writing them down. Sometimes I even enjoy singing my prayers, making up the tune as I go along. There are many ways to pray, and as long as our hearts are in the right place—seeking to connect with the One who made us—it will be time well-spent. Time spent with God is never wasted.

Take Time Away

Getting away from the schedules that we have carved out for ourselves is sometimes the most challenging thing to do. It doesn’t seem possible that the world we’re in will run smoothly if we step out of it for a few days, or even a day, or even for a few hours. Will our households, businesses, and families survive if we leave?

The answer is yes. And the reality is that if you make the time to step out of the regular schedule of life to reevaluate and refresh, you will come back to “regular” life with better and more insightful thoughts, as well as with more energy to offer to your family, your friends, and your co-workers.

Taking time away will look different for everyone. You may only feel that you can responsibly take a couple of hours away from your duties at home or at work, or you may figure out a way to step away from your responsibilities for a full day or two. Whatever the amount of time that you can set aside to get away, it can be meaningful.

And that is the key focus for getting away. While it might sound nice to go on a mini-vacation and unwind by watching a movie or sleeping the day away, the focus for this time should be centered on purposefully looking at your current life—what you love about your life, what you long for, what you want to grow in, and what you need to cut out. While a nap is not a bad idea, consider removing any and all kinds of media for your time away. A ringing cell phone is almost certain to keep you focused on the minutiae of life, rather than help you think about the life you are seeking to live.

Blessings on you, friends, as you start this new year. What do you want this year to be?

Filed Under: God, Uncategorized, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
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