The Timeliness of Fall

I love summer. A Midwesterner my entire life, summer has always been an elusive prize, a questionable gamble between the winters that are always just around the corner. But the freedom to wear sandals and shorts and the opportunity to leave the house without mittens and three layers of clothing is an elusiveness I have always been willing to chase. When the first signs of summer come in April, I am hesitant to embrace the summer fully, knowing the weather will argue with itself for several more weeks. But when May finally comes, I paint my toenails and wear my flip-flops, knowing that there are months ahead of sunshine.

Ann and Michael.FallBy August, I have all but forgotten about the precariousness of summer in the Midwest. It has been warm for three months, and I cannot remember the feel of close-toed shoes. Skirts and sunglasses are my staple; winter coats have been shoved to the back of the closet. And mittens? What are mittens?

But the past several days in my town have brought with them the first signs of fall—rainy afternoons, and even a few leaves that are turning red and yellow. I am starting to remember that winter does exist, and fall is the reminder.

Something happens in my soul every year when summer begins to fade. I start to remember my first days of school, jumping in piles of leaves with my sister, high school homecoming dances, and college football games. I begin to think backwards in time; I take time to remember.

And as I do this, I think of all of the falls and winters and summers and springs that have already taken place. I begin to think of the fading nature of life, and something in me is always surprised at the way that the seasons pass so quickly. I wonder where the summer went—how August is already over and September itself is disappearing. I think about how quickly winter will arrive and I am humbled by the thought of another Thanksgiving, another Christmas, another New Year and another calendar.

I am surprised to find that I am older, and that time affects me, too. I am reminded that my time on this earth is not endless, and that like the leaves on the trees around me, I too, will die. And this is why fall is timely in her arrival. She is a good teacher. Summer feels timeless; fall reminds me of the true nature of time. Her lessons are subtle but true, and I am trying, this year, to heed the education she offers.

The education is this: to know that death is near and not ignore it, but to live brilliantly in the days that are left. Although winter is imminent and sure, although the leaves on the trees will die, the beauty they offer in their fading is one of the most brilliant scenes in nature.

We can know that death is near and not ignore it, but live brilliantly in the days that are left. Share on X

And this is the truth each one of us faces every day; life on this earth is not endless. We will all have a winter to face, and some of us will meet that season sooner than others, sooner than we planned. But we have the opportunity to live our days with brilliance and beauty—and hope. Christ says that he came to give full life—abundant life—to those who walk in relationship with him (John 10:10). Walking in relationship with Jesus gives us the hope of eternal life and the reality of peace and assurance during our life on this earth. In a world that is confused and hurting, our lives with Jesus show the beauty and brilliance of life that is lived with joy, even when there is the constant possibility of death.

I do not know when I will die; none of us do. But fall beckons me to remember that while we will all face physical death, our lives can proclaim the life and truth of Christ—the one who gives us fullness of life on this earth and the next. That is something truly meaningful, and truly brilliant.

How FallPoints us to God (3)

 

An Empty Classroom: Holy Ground

This is the week that school starts at the college where I teach. As a college prof I get to claim most of the month of August for the summer–but this last week is decidedly Fall for me. It may still be 90 degrees outside, and the trees may still be heavy with green, but Fall is here for me. The students are on campus, unpacking boxes and purchasing books, and I am a teacher once again.

empty classroom

Yesterday, I spent several hours preparing lesson plans, making sure my course syllabus was ready to go, prepping the course website, and thinking about the semester ahead.

I have the privilege of teaching.

I have the opportunity to speak into the lives of the upcoming generation.

I have the chance to point them to Jesus.

I stood in the empty classroom where I will spend two hours every Tuesday and Thursday for the remainder of the year, and I was grateful. I know there will be conversations and questions and debates and weighty thoughts in this classroom. I felt very small in that classroom, in the best way possible. It is not my classroom. It is His.

God is the leader of these students. He made them and created them, and I have the charge of stewarding their education for a few hours every week, and so I always walk into the classroom with awe and also with fear. Because I know that although I am a teacher, I also know that my own training and skill is not what these students ultimately need. I will teach them about writing, yes, but my prayer is that God will be glorified and that these students will know and love him more at the end of the semester than they do now. I pray the same for myself, for I know I will be impacted by them, too.

Lord, give me words to speak that honor you. Give me a heart that is attentive to your presence among us. And give me a mind that points always back to you, for the fear of the Lord really is the beginning of wisdom.

I start teaching tomorrow. Pray for me? I always need it.

Complaining is a Spiritual Problem: An Article for RELEVANT Magazine

I really don’t like cleaning the dishes. I’d rather fold laundry, change a diaper, vacuum—anything. I will gladly do a lot of things before I have to do the dishes. And we even have a dishwasher.

And although I cringe to admit it, I have complained about “having” to clean the dishes to my husband, my sister, my friends—just about anyone who will listen. Typing that out makes me sound like a whiny 3-year-old. Which, if I’m being honest, is true. Sometimes I act like a spiritual 3-year-old. I complain about dishes, I complain about traffic, I complain about the weather. You name it, I’ve probably complained about it in some form or fashion.

Complaining, griping, whining, grousing—whatever you want to call it, it’s a spiritual problem.

The problem is not, actually, the dirty dishes. And the problem is not the backup on I-355 or the snow that wouldn’t budge for six months.

The problem is me. The problem is how I see the world.

The Center of the Universe

Because when I put myself at the center of existence, everything that isn’t tailor-made to my desires becomes something I can complain about. My husband’s pastoring job that keeps him out late several times a week? I see it as a hindrance to my own personal happiness when I have to eat dinner alone or put our daughter to bed without his help.

The fact that our car busted its water pipe and we have to pay hundreds of dollars for a new one? I see it as money that I shouldn’t have to spend. The laundry that I forgot in the washer for two days that now smells awful and needs to be re-washed? I see it as an inconvenience and an annoyance. The fact that I have to spend hours and hours every week grading stacks of papers that my students may barely review? I see it as a thankless part of my teaching job. All because I am setting myself at the center of my life.

Complaining is a spiritual problem. Share on X

How We Respond to Life Matters to God

Now hear me—I’m not talking about dealing with the very real, very sobering, very heart-wrenching realities that millions of people in the world face every day. Horrible things are happening in this country and around the world as I type this, and as Christians, we are called to attend to the hurting and poor and to offer help that is both spiritual and tangible. Those things deserve true grieving and tears and a mighty response of compassion. Complaining about life and seeking justice for genuine wrongs are two different things.

But that’s not what this is about. This is about the daily complaints that I mutter—that many of us mutter—in the regularity of our lives. I’m not trying to make myself or anyone else feel guilty about “first-world problems,” because most of us reading this will never face starvation or genocide. But what we will face is our own lives, and how we respond to our own lives matters to God, because it is the only life we can live.

And so this is where I must turn to the truth of a different reality—one where I’m not the sun that everything else is circling around. The Bible tells me about this different reality, about a King and His Kingdom, and it tells me that I am decidedly not at the center of this world.

1 Corinthians 4:7 asks the question: “What do you have that you did not receive?” And to that question, I must reply: nothing. My husband who works late for his job? Both the man and his job are gifts from God, who has given me a spouse and has provided for our family through that job. The car that needs repairing? That car is a gift from God: it transports us to where we need to go, safely and quickly. The washing machine that holds smelly laundry? That is a gift from God that enables us to wash our clothes easily and effectively. The job that keeps me glued to my desk? That is a gift from God that allows me to use my talents in ways that help others.

Choosing to see the gifts in front of me is the quickest way to stop complaining in my life. Share on X

The Gift

All of it, a gift. And when I see from this perspective, I have no room for complaint. Yes, there are many difficult days in this life we live, but everything we have—even the lemon of a car or the job that keeps us up late—all of these things are gifts from a generous God. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17)

So when the traffic slows or the weather freezes or the dishes pile up, I have a choice. I can see myself at the center of the world and grouse about everything that doesn’t make my life easier. Or I can acknowledge the truth that I am not on any throne, but that the King who is has given me everything I have—even my heart beating in my chest—as a gift.

And so here is what I can offer instead of complaint: thankfulness. Gratefulness. Praise.

Still Waiting by Ann Swindell

Click here  to read this article at RELEVANT, where it was originally published!  

Relevant Complaining is a Spritual Problem

Forty Years of Saying Yes

This past week, my parents celebrated forty years of marriage. Forty years! What an amazing milestone. What an incredible thing to celebrate. We live in a culture that glorifies weddings but often slams marriages. And yet what I have seen through the marriage of my parents is something that both rises above culture and challenges it.

 

NYC

My mom grew up as a pastor’s kid; when my parents were married my grandpa did the officiating, and my dad wore a white tuxedo with a powder blue ruffled button down shirt that spilled out from the lapels. After the wedding my father serenaded my mother on the church steps with “The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi” (the man can sing), and they held a reception at the church with punch and cake.

Their wedding was simple. God was honored, promises were made, cake was cut. In the grand scheme of wedding history and the Pinterest-crazy weddings that now take place, their wedding would have seemed, I can imagine, very unimpressive.

But it is their marriage that has proven impressive. It is their marriage that has proven those simple vows true a hundred thousand times over. And I have been one of the closest witnesses to that marriage.

I lived in a home where my parents spoke love to one another and to us every day. “I love you” rang throughout our house like a bell, the echo of the words always hanging until the bell was rung again.

I lived in a home where my parents did fun things together, where they enjoyed one another. I watched them host dinner parties and also get dressed up for nights out. I loved that they went on dates together.

I lived in a home where my parents talked to one another—and to us—openly and honestly. We had dinner together as a family most nights of the week and we shared our days with one another regularly.

I lived in a home where my parents kissed each other often and unashamedly. There was very little that made me happier as a child than to see how genuinely my parents were in love.

I lived in home where my parents told us that they would never divorce and that they would always be together. I am eternally grateful that they meant it.

I lived in a home where my parents laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I lived in a home where we all laughed together so hard sometimes that we had to pull away from the dinner table to catch our breath.

Is our family perfect? Hardly. Is their marriage perfect? By no means. But for forty years my parents have lived out their promises and their love with faithfulness and with tenderness and with joy—so much joy. They have walked through deep trials, as every marriage does. They have walked through countless changes, as any marriage stretched over forty years is bound to walk through. But they have clung to Christ and to each other, and their marriage is a beautiful representation of the love of Christ and his church.

Mom and Dad 40 years

I am honored to know them as parents and also as friends. And I celebrate you, Mom and Dad. Your faithfulness in marriage has borne great fruit. Thank you for saying yes at the altar forty years ago. And thank you for continuing to say yes to God and to each other every day of those last forty years. I love you both more than I can say.

So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview With Kristi James

Friends, you are in for a treat today. Kristi James of And Babies Don’t Keep is here today for the Church Lady series I have been running on Mondays. I have connected with Kristi through social media and–let me tell you–this woman is choosing Jesus! I love hearing her heart for the church and I think you’ll agree with me that her yes to God is beautiful because it is costing her something–and yet it is a sacrifice she is willing to give Him because He is worthy! If you don’t know Kristi, you can connect with her at her blog, on Facebook, or through Twitter and Instagram! She’s a woman worth getting to know.

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Kristi James

1. Tell us a little bit about the church you’re  apart of.

Duff and I are planting City Church, in Asheville, NC. We moved here 3 years ago (after being asked by our Presbytery) and spent about 6 months getting to know (and falling in love with) the city before officially starting. We did what we said we’d never do – a parachute plant – which means we dropped in on our own, without a core group waiting for us. Asheville is a phenomenal city, and while it’s in the south, it’s more eclectic than most of the surrounding areas. So if we’re going to use the Bible Belt metaphor, Asheville might be the handmade belt buckle (think hipster, not cowboy), rather than part of the actual belt itself.

That’s to say that things are different here, including our church plant. We gathered a core group over the first couple of years, and then watched half of them leave, over time, for more stable jobs. God has done so many things along the way to remind us that this is his church, he loves it more than we can imagine. That helps a great deal as we’ve watched friends leave town or felt especially small or alone. At this point, we’re made up of about 20 people, meeting Sunday afternoons for worship and Wednesday evenings in a small group setting. Ultimately, we want to be a church where people can explore the claims of Jesus, experience the grace of God in community, employ their resources for the glory of God and the welfare of our city, and extend the hope of Jesus to Asheville and beyond.

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
Being an active member of a church is SO good. It took until halfway through college for me to understand that. Also, I worked at a church after college, so I was expected to be there, and that helped me settle into the habit of church, which lead me to a deeper appreciation for not just being present, but being involved.

So today, I’m the church planter’s wife and I have three young kids (Olivia is 4, Eliza is almost 3, and Piper is 5 months old). So sometimes what it looks like is me, walking into church feeling lonely (because Duff has been gone all day) and needy (because…kids…) and walking out a few hours later knowing that I’m not alone, after watching our church family love my biological family well.

As far as what I do for/with/at church, I coordinate the childcare (terribly, I might add), I/we offer our home several times a week for official and unofficial church stuff. I used to lead our women’s small group but we split that up in preparation for Piper’s birth, so sometimes I lead and sometimes I have the privilege of soaking up what my friends have to share with us from scripture.

Mostly? I feel like my biggest responsibility is caring for Duff. Listening as he works out his sermons, freeing him to go drive through the mountains if he’s wrestling with something, being frustrated with him when things aren’t going the way we’d like, celebrating with him when things fall into place, and reminding him that while his calling in this is unique, he’s not alone. I don’t do that perfectly, by any means, but it’s my favorite part.

Kristi James and Duff

 3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
At our former church, there were multiple pastors and multiples pastor’s wives and I was the youngest by at least 12 years. I wasn’t really needed like we sometimes picture the pastor’s wife being needed (to play piano and make casseroles), which was nice, in a way. But here, we’re it. And I think that’s been good for both of us. When your church family is looking at you to teach, you teach. And then you realize that you kind of love that. When someone in your church has a new baby, you walk through that adjustment, reminding them that while you’ve got three now, once upon a time, you only had one, and you felt alone and confused and totally delighted all at once, too. When a couple needs some help working through issues in their marriage, you have them over, and you and your counselor-husband listen to them and encourage them and pray with them.

I would say that being here in this role has allowed (and required) me to stick my toe in the waters of things I hoped I could do, like teaching and writing and being passionate about reminding each other that we are dearly loved children.

 4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Being part of a church can be so hard! And I think sometimes we’re surprised by that. When I was in college, I went through a break-up that changed everything for me (for the better, actually). But afterwards, I would sometimes see this guy at church. For an entire year, I felt sick to my stomach driving to church, and I’d pray, “God please help me be a woman of grace and ease. Please help me be a woman of grace and ease. Please help me to not throw up, and please help me be a woman of grace and ease.” I felt most vulnerable in the place where I wanted to feel the safest.

But I kept going. Because I needed church, even though it was hard. I wasn’t always immediately welcomed by people who made me feel super comfortable. I didn’t always feel known or even noticed by my pastor. It took work! But it was something I needed to be able to make it through the week. Duff talks about God’s people coming in, gathering together to remember God’s truth, to be sent back out. And I needed that, I needed to come in and be reminded, so that I could go back out.

I don’t always feel such intense feelings about church. Like most Christians, sometimes it’s hard for me to want to go. But I choose to go, to stay, to commit, because God says that’s the best way to live. It’s like being part of your family. You’re bound together, and that doesn’t mean it’s always easy or comfortable, or that people are always good and kind, but when you’re committed it means you can make it through mistakes and brokenness and find love and safety within the bounds of that family.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
Guys, this is kind of hard for me to write! All of these questions are. Church is hard right now. Church planting is vulnerable business and I’m kind of tired of being vulnerable. In Genesis, when God makes the covenant with Abraham, he cuts and animal in half and lays it open. Normally, when making a covenant, the two parties would walk through together, as if to say, “May this happen to me if I break this covenant, if I don’t keep my end of the deal.” When God made the covenant with Abraham, he passed through it alone, as if to say, “I’m covering your half. You cannot do this. You would be laid out like this if you tried. But I will do it for you. I’ll cover my part and yours.” I know this is kind of a jump, but on the hard days, I feel laid out like that animal. I know I can’t keep my end of the deal. I can’t make this church happen or be the perfect wife or mom. Church planting highlights all of the hard truths for me.

When I feel laid out, cut in two, wide open and vulnerable, that picture of God passing through, covering all parts, is incredibly comforting. Often the church is the biggest source of anxiety in my life. But I love it fiercely because it is also where I am directed to my only relief, my only hope.

I value the church because Jesus did. Jesus said this church is my bride. It’s a messy, unfaithful, screwed up bride but I love her and I’ll do anything to hold her close. I’ll pass through both sides of the animal for her.

So, while I know that Jesus loves me,
Kristi James,
wife of Duff
and mom to Liv, Eliza, and Piper,
she who doesn’t really like chicken but could eat tacos every day,
she who can’t spell vinaigrette without spellcheck,
and she who thought she was “campy” but turns out to be “glampy…”

I also know that it’s not just about me and him, Jesus and me, it’s about us, his people, his ecclesia, his church. We are not alone in this, he’s given us to each other, and I love that. I won’t miss out on that.

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So You Say You're a Church Lady?

Kristi, you’ve got such a great heart! Thank you for making the time to articulate your insights for us–I am so thankful! Go get to know this powerhouse woman more over at her blog!

Two Kinds of Freedom

I’m celebrating two kinds of freedom today. And I’m thankful for both.

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But most of all, I’m thankful for this: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” (Galatians 5:1a)

Happy Freedom Day, friends. May we live fully into freedom today.