The Gift of Celebration, The Gift of Friendship

January 14, 2015 by 16 Comments

Celebrate well

I’m a celebrator by nature. I love throwing parties, surprising people, and making up excuses to celebrate the people I love. I love being the one to gather friends together to show them why they are worthy of encouragement, attention, and time. Celebrating is a love language for me.

But my birthday falls in January, which, I’ve found, is not a great time to have a birthday if you like celebrating. For most of us, January is recovery month. We’re tired, we’ve used all our vacation time, we’ve made New Year’s resolutions that forbid us from eating sugar or carbs, we’re sick of seeing people, and we just spent a lot of money at Christmas. We’re tired of celebrating once January rolls around. We want to hibernate. We want to hole away.

Therein lies my problem; birthdays are special to me.

But then, last year, a friend asked me how I would feel most loved for my birthday. She wanted to celebrate me, she said. Even in her asking, I felt loved. And I told her the truth: I wanted to be with my closest friends, and I wanted to share a meal together. No gifts, no songs—just time gathered around the table.

And that is what happened, in the cold and dreary month of January. Ten of us shared a meal. We paid for babysitters so that our conversation could go deep; that in and of itself was a precious gift of time and money. Each friend surprised me by sharing an encouragement for my coming year of life. They told me how they saw Jesus at work in me, and they prayed for me. I sat there and felt deeply celebrated, and deeply welcomed into the new year of my life by the friends I loved the most. In my memory, it remains a holy and beautiful night.

To me, I have come to realize how that night encapsulates what is meant to be at the center of every gathering; in fact, what is meant to be at the heart of friendship. For true friendship is a kind of gathering. It is pulling people together around a shared table or on a soft couch, and it will cost us in time and even in money. True friendship means giving those things that my friends offered to me on my birthday night—time, encouragement, intentionality, welcome, love. And true friendship is celebration; it is seeing what is worthy of encouragement in those we love and declaring those things over them. It is seeing the presence of Jesus in the other and acknowledging his beauty through them.

Birthdays only happen once every twelve months, but gathering to celebrate those we love—to speak truth and hope and encouragement to them and over them—that can happen any time of the year. We can gather in coffee shops and pray for one another. We can gather on playgrounds and encourage one another. We can gather around kitchen tables and welcome one another. We can gather in restaurants and celebrate one another. And we can gather, always, and love one another—no matter where, no matter when. 

If this blog post was encouraging to you, I would be honored if you would consider partnering with me as a writer! Click here to read more!

 

Filed Under: About, God, Life, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Locking and Unlocking: Wedding Vows

October 13, 2014 by 3,100 Comments

This summer, we were at a family wedding, and it was all the things weddings are meant to be–joyful and poignant, beautiful and somber. The bride and groom are older than Michael and I were when we wed, but I still found myself amazed at how young they are, and how amazing it is that we promised ourselves these things when we just rounded the corner into our twenties.

The Gift that only marriagecan unlock

There is a weightiness at a wedding that is halting, startling. The vows being made are so simple, and yet–and yet–they mean everything. To wed your life to another–to bind in the sense of “tying the knot”–it is a trembling, fearful thing. Not fear-full, but knee-knocking in its own right, because you are locking your life to another and tossing away the key.

To vow your life to another is to toss away the key to making decisions with only yourself in mind. It is to toss away the key to making yourself the highest priority. It is to toss away the key to having relationships that threaten the sacredness of the marriage. It is to toss away the key to a lot of freedoms that exist before that knot is tied.

But marriage also opens doors–more doors than I knew could open through just one other person. Marriage unlocks the mystery of another soul, offering glimpses of the brokenness and the glory of your spouse. It is a holy thing to see my husband at his worst and choose to love him, even as he does the same for me. It is a holy, holy thing to see my husband at his best and marvel that I am the one given the gift of being his partner.

Marriage unlocks a security and a safety that offers haven in a tumultuous world. Marriage unlocks silliness and goofiness and a deep sense of joy. And marriage, at its most beautiful and powerful, unlocks a picture of the love Christ has for his Church–no greater love, no greater tenderness.

This is what we glimpsed at the wedding this weekend. As observers of those vows, we had a peek–through a keyhole–of the doors they were locking and unlocking together. The fullness of the marriage is theirs alone, but it pointed us again to that most wonderful Love–and to the great wedding feast that is coming.

Filed Under: Life, Marriage, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview with Jess Connolly

August 4, 2014 by 1 Comment

Today is the last interview in the Church Lady series that has been running all summer here on my blog. It has been so amazing to get to hear from the incredible women who participated in this series. If you haven’t had a chance to read them all, it is definitely worth your time. Every single one of these women are laying their lives down for the sake of the Gospel and for the Church. They are lovers of Jesus, lovers of their families, and lovers of people. It has been an honor to hear from each of them.

We end this series today with the privilege of getting to hear from Jess Connolly, the gracious woman behind her blog, Jess Connolly, and her business, Naptime Diaries. This woman is a powerhouse–she is a church-planting pastor’s wife, a mom of four, a blogger, a shop owner, and the co-founder of The Influence Conference and The Influence Network. I’m thankful she took the time to talk about church for this series. Make sure to connect with Jess through her blog!

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Jessi Connolly

1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.
The church I’m apart of is my husband’s first solo church plant. We’re here in Charleston, SC. We had our first public service in January of this year and we’re having fun. It’s crazy and wild and our home is basically our church right now – but it’s so fun watching this community grow.

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
In my life, to be active in my church, looks like loving on my husband, supporting him and listening to him, praying for him. It looks like being my kid’s main caregiver so that he is freed up to go about his schedule – which can fluctuate at any moment due to meetings, etc. It looks like loving on the women – discipling them, welcoming them into our home and seeing our day to day life. It looks like picking up and serving where there are needs, even if I don’t feel very good at that form of serving. Mostly, it looks like embodying Gospel Community – celebrating the good news that Jesus came for me, and doing so in the midst of community. 

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
In this season, I wouldn’t say I’m out and out using my gifts for our church. I’m not writing or speaking for our church, but that doesn’t mean that my gifts aren’t being sharpened. As I’m discipling women and walking in humility, I’m remembering and growing in the power of the gospel. For me, doing the very real on the ground work of meeting with women and seeing where they’re at, it really helps me as I move forward publicly sharing the gospel, speaking and writing elsewhere.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Being a part of a church challenges me to stay near the heart of the gospel. Being in community and growing together reminds me that this faith is not all about me. I genuinely can’t imagine walking intimately with the Lord without community.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
 I value the church because I think it will absolutely sustain. Culture changes, our hearts change, our feelings change, but God’s Word and His hope for His bride stands firm. There are times where I don’t necessarily want to believe that and I’d rather be left alone to do my own thing, but I know that isn’t best.

———————————————————————————————————————————————-

Thank you so much, Jess–both for sharing your heart here and for living your life faithfully for Jesus and his people. And thank you to all of the women who participated in this series! I am blessed and honored to have had your voices shared here.

So You Say You're a Church Lady?
Filed Under: So You Say You're a Church Lady Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Church is for the Whole Family, or Why We Took our 1-year old on a Mission Trip

July 16, 2014 by 5 Comments

Family on Mission

A few weeks ago, we were getting back from Tijuana, Mexico and our church’s family mission trip. Those words don’t always go together–“family” and “mission trip.” But our church is committed to ministry that is done with the entire family, which I love and which also makes me feel like we are slightly crazy. Crazy because we had children from six months of age to fourteen on this trip–and between the three Antioch churches that connected together to serve our sister church in Tijuana, there were nearly 100 of us in Tijuana. With lots and lots of small kids running around in a foreign city, in a place where most of us don’t speak the language, there was bound to be some chaos. Some kids got sick, some kids got really tired, some kids got really cranky (let’s be honest: a lot of us adults got really cranky).

And that, I found, is ok. Church is for the whole family, not just those who are old enough to sit quietly or travel well or eat whatever is put in front of them. Being on mission–serving others and sharing the Gospel and intentionally seeking to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a place where you don’t know your way around town–this is not just for people who are old enough to tie their own shoes and talk about faith competently and theologically.

Nope.

Church is for the whole family. Which means that being on mission is for the whole family. Which means that it is worth it to take my one-year old on a trip she will not remember to a nation where we know no one and share the Gospel with people in a language we barely speak. Because we are a family. And I refuse to keep my child out of church and out of doing what the church does until she is “old enough.”

Ella in Mexico

Was it challenging and difficult at times? Yes. Was it fun and exciting and rewarding at times, too? Yes.

I want church and ministry and mission to be so woven into the fabric of our life as a family that it is Ella’s baseline for normal. And so she does church with us now. We show up every Sunday for service, even when it interrupts her nap. She comes to small group and plays with the college kids on Tuesday nights. She dances while Mom and Dad play worship music in the house. She listens while Daddy practices his sermons. And she comes with us when we go on mission trips.

And she is learning a lot of things, even now, that she doesn’t have words for. And it is worth it. Because He is worth it.

(And, praise God for the Ergo. And for squeezie pouches that make it through customs. Amen.)

Church is For the Whole Family(or, why

Filed Under: Baby, God, Ministry, Writing Wednesdays Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The Dishwasher Blues

July 11, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Today, I wanted to offer a little “Flashback Friday” and share a piece I wrote for RELEVANT several years ago, entitled “The Dishwasher Blues.” Although we have moved since I wrote this (and we do have a dishwasher now!), the sentiments here are the same. I can often look at what I don’t have rather than what I do have. But the truth is that God has given us all that we need–even if it’s not what my neighbor has.

dishwasher

I hope this piece encourages you!

Filed Under: Guest Post, Life, Marriage, Writing Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Forty Years of Saying Yes

July 9, 2014 by 1 Comment

This past week, my parents celebrated forty years of marriage. Forty years! What an amazing milestone. What an incredible thing to celebrate. We live in a culture that glorifies weddings but often slams marriages. And yet what I have seen through the marriage of my parents is something that both rises above culture and challenges it.

 

NYC

My mom grew up as a pastor’s kid; when my parents were married my grandpa did the officiating, and my dad wore a white tuxedo with a powder blue ruffled button down shirt that spilled out from the lapels. After the wedding my father serenaded my mother on the church steps with “The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi” (the man can sing), and they held a reception at the church with punch and cake.

Their wedding was simple. God was honored, promises were made, cake was cut. In the grand scheme of wedding history and the Pinterest-crazy weddings that now take place, their wedding would have seemed, I can imagine, very unimpressive.

But it is their marriage that has proven impressive. It is their marriage that has proven those simple vows true a hundred thousand times over. And I have been one of the closest witnesses to that marriage.

I lived in a home where my parents spoke love to one another and to us every day. “I love you” rang throughout our house like a bell, the echo of the words always hanging until the bell was rung again.

I lived in a home where my parents did fun things together, where they enjoyed one another. I watched them host dinner parties and also get dressed up for nights out. I loved that they went on dates together.

I lived in a home where my parents talked to one another—and to us—openly and honestly. We had dinner together as a family most nights of the week and we shared our days with one another regularly.

I lived in a home where my parents kissed each other often and unashamedly. There was very little that made me happier as a child than to see how genuinely my parents were in love.

I lived in home where my parents told us that they would never divorce and that they would always be together. I am eternally grateful that they meant it.

I lived in a home where my parents laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I lived in a home where we all laughed together so hard sometimes that we had to pull away from the dinner table to catch our breath.

Is our family perfect? Hardly. Is their marriage perfect? By no means. But for forty years my parents have lived out their promises and their love with faithfulness and with tenderness and with joy—so much joy. They have walked through deep trials, as every marriage does. They have walked through countless changes, as any marriage stretched over forty years is bound to walk through. But they have clung to Christ and to each other, and their marriage is a beautiful representation of the love of Christ and his church.

Mom and Dad 40 years

I am honored to know them as parents and also as friends. And I celebrate you, Mom and Dad. Your faithfulness in marriage has borne great fruit. Thank you for saying yes at the altar forty years ago. And thank you for continuing to say yes to God and to each other every day of those last forty years. I love you both more than I can say.

Filed Under: About, Marriage, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Next Page »