church – Page 2

Complaining is a Spiritual Problem: An Article for RELEVANT Magazine

August 20, 2014 by Ann 5 Comments

I really don’t like cleaning the dishes. I’d rather fold laundry, change a diaper, vacuum—anything. I will gladly do a lot of things before I have to do the dishes. And we even have a dishwasher.

And although I cringe to admit it, I have complained about “having” to clean the dishes to my husband, my sister, my friends—just about anyone who will listen. Typing that out makes me sound like a whiny 3-year-old. Which, if I’m being honest, is true. Sometimes I act like a spiritual 3-year-old. I complain about dishes, I complain about traffic, I complain about the weather. You name it, I’ve probably complained about it in some form or fashion.

Complaining, griping, whining, grousing—whatever you want to call it, it’s a spiritual problem.

The problem is not, actually, the dirty dishes. And the problem is not the backup on I-355 or the snow that wouldn’t budge for six months.

The problem is me. The problem is how I see the world.

The Center of the Universe

Because when I put myself at the center of existence, everything that isn’t tailor-made to my desires becomes something I can complain about. My husband’s pastoring job that keeps him out late several times a week? I see it as a hindrance to my own personal happiness when I have to eat dinner alone or put our daughter to bed without his help.

The fact that our car busted its water pipe and we have to pay hundreds of dollars for a new one? I see it as money that I shouldn’t have to spend. The laundry that I forgot in the washer for two days that now smells awful and needs to be re-washed? I see it as an inconvenience and an annoyance. The fact that I have to spend hours and hours every week grading stacks of papers that my students may barely review? I see it as a thankless part of my teaching job. All because I am setting myself at the center of my life.

Complaining is a spiritual problem. Share on X

How We Respond to Life Matters to God

Now hear me—I’m not talking about dealing with the very real, very sobering, very heart-wrenching realities that millions of people in the world face every day. Horrible things are happening in this country and around the world as I type this, and as Christians, we are called to attend to the hurting and poor and to offer help that is both spiritual and tangible. Those things deserve true grieving and tears and a mighty response of compassion. Complaining about life and seeking justice for genuine wrongs are two different things.

But that’s not what this is about. This is about the daily complaints that I mutter—that many of us mutter—in the regularity of our lives. I’m not trying to make myself or anyone else feel guilty about “first-world problems,” because most of us reading this will never face starvation or genocide. But what we will face is our own lives, and how we respond to our own lives matters to God, because it is the only life we can live.

And so this is where I must turn to the truth of a different reality—one where I’m not the sun that everything else is circling around. The Bible tells me about this different reality, about a King and His Kingdom, and it tells me that I am decidedly not at the center of this world.

1 Corinthians 4:7 asks the question: “What do you have that you did not receive?” And to that question, I must reply: nothing. My husband who works late for his job? Both the man and his job are gifts from God, who has given me a spouse and has provided for our family through that job. The car that needs repairing? That car is a gift from God: it transports us to where we need to go, safely and quickly. The washing machine that holds smelly laundry? That is a gift from God that enables us to wash our clothes easily and effectively. The job that keeps me glued to my desk? That is a gift from God that allows me to use my talents in ways that help others.

Choosing to see the gifts in front of me is the quickest way to stop complaining in my life. Share on X

The Gift

All of it, a gift. And when I see from this perspective, I have no room for complaint. Yes, there are many difficult days in this life we live, but everything we have—even the lemon of a car or the job that keeps us up late—all of these things are gifts from a generous God. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17)

So when the traffic slows or the weather freezes or the dishes pile up, I have a choice. I can see myself at the center of the world and grouse about everything that doesn’t make my life easier. Or I can acknowledge the truth that I am not on any throne, but that the King who is has given me everything I have—even my heart beating in my chest—as a gift.

And so here is what I can offer instead of complaint: thankfulness. Gratefulness. Praise.

Click here to read this article at RELEVANT, where it was originally published!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Life, Writing Tagged With: Christian marriage, Christianity, church, complaining, complaining is a spiritual problem, faith, guest post, Jesus, RELEVANT, Relevant Magazine, soul tired, spiritual problem, whining

So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview with Jess Connolly

August 4, 2014 by Ann 1 Comment

Today is the last interview in the Church Lady series that has been running all summer here on my blog. It has been so amazing to get to hear from the incredible women who participated in this series. If you haven’t had a chance to read them all, it is definitely worth your time. Every single one of these women are laying their lives down for the sake of the Gospel and for the Church. They are lovers of Jesus, lovers of their families, and lovers of people. It has been an honor to hear from each of them.

We end this series today with the privilege of getting to hear from Jess Connolly, the gracious woman behind her blog, Jess Connolly, and her business, Naptime Diaries. This woman is a powerhouse–she is a church-planting pastor’s wife, a mom of four, a blogger, a shop owner, and the co-founder of The Influence Conference and The Influence Network. I’m thankful she took the time to talk about church for this series. Make sure to connect with Jess through her blog!

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1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.
The church I’m apart of is my husband’s first solo church plant. We’re here in Charleston, SC. We had our first public service in January of this year and we’re having fun. It’s crazy and wild and our home is basically our church right now – but it’s so fun watching this community grow.

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
In my life, to be active in my church, looks like loving on my husband, supporting him and listening to him, praying for him. It looks like being my kid’s main caregiver so that he is freed up to go about his schedule – which can fluctuate at any moment due to meetings, etc. It looks like loving on the women – discipling them, welcoming them into our home and seeing our day to day life. It looks like picking up and serving where there are needs, even if I don’t feel very good at that form of serving. Mostly, it looks like embodying Gospel Community – celebrating the good news that Jesus came for me, and doing so in the midst of community.

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
In this season, I wouldn’t say I’m out and out using my gifts for our church. I’m not writing or speaking for our church, but that doesn’t mean that my gifts aren’t being sharpened. As I’m discipling women and walking in humility, I’m remembering and growing in the power of the gospel. For me, doing the very real on the ground work of meeting with women and seeing where they’re at, it really helps me as I move forward publicly sharing the gospel, speaking and writing elsewhere.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Being a part of a church challenges me to stay near the heart of the gospel. Being in community and growing together reminds me that this faith is not all about me. I genuinely can’t imagine walking intimately with the Lord without community.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
I value the church because I think it will absolutely sustain. Culture changes, our hearts change, our feelings change, but God’s Word and His hope for His bride stands firm. There are times where I don’t necessarily want to believe that and I’d rather be left alone to do my own thing, but I know that isn’t best.

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Thank you so much, Jess–both for sharing your heart here and for living your life faithfully for Jesus and his people. And thank you to all of the women who participated in this series! I am blessed and honored to have had your voices shared here.

Filed Under: So You Say You're a Church Lady Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christianity, church, Church Lady series, church planting, faith, family, Jessi Connolly, ministry, Naptime Diaries, women in ministry

What Christians Get Wrong About Discipleship: An Article at RELEVANT Magazine

August 1, 2014 by Ann 3 Comments

I’m writing over at RELEVANT Magazine today about a topic that stirs my soul: discipleship. Please read the article, join the conversation, and let me know what you think about this issue that is so central to the Christian life! Here’s the start of the article:

To those of us who follow Jesus, discipleship should be a central aspect of our faith. This is because Jesus commanded His followers—in what is commonly referred to as “The Great Commission”—to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:18-20).

It’s not a suggestion that Jesus makes here. It’s a command, a charge.

What is discipleship? Put simply, discipleship means intentionally partnering with another Christian in order to help that person obey Jesus and grow in relationship with Him—so that he or she can then help others do the same. Jesus taught His disciples to follow Him and obey His commands so that they could lead others to do the same after His death, resurrection and ascension. The Apostle Paul continues the pattern with Timothy and encourages him to keep the cycle going: “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2).

But how do we live out this command and actually do what we’ve been called to do? It can help, I think, to look at what we might be getting wrong about discipleship in order to understand how to get it right.

Discipleship Isn’t Easy.

Salvation is free, but discipleship will cost us our lives. Jesus put it bluntly:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” (Luke 9:23-25)

To be a disciple of Jesus means that we have given up our lives in order to follow Him wholeheartedly and unreservedly. It means that our lives are no longer our own—they are His.

Discipleship Isn’t “Just Me and Jesus.”

While discipleship is all about Jesus, it’s not a solitary endeavor. Discipleship is relational, and to fully respond to the Great Commission, we need to be disciples who are making disciples of Jesus. This means we need to spend consistent time with other believers.

Jesus and His disciples spent a lot of time together (Acts 1:21-22). They ate together, walked together, rode in boats together. They even fought together (Luke 9:46-48). The 12 disciples were in one another’s lives, constantly and intentionally.

While we are all called to become disciples of Jesus, we become disciples with one another, learning how to love God and each other as we go. We need to allow others to disciple us by letting them challenge us and encourage us in our walk with God. This is why church and honest relationships with other believers are so central to the Christian life—we need one another in this journey of becoming wholehearted disciples of Jesus.

Read the rest of the article here, at RELEVANT!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Writing Tagged With: Christian living, Christianity, church, disciple, discipleship, faith, great commission, Relevant Magazine

Church is for the Whole Family, or Why We Took our 1-year old on a Mission Trip

July 16, 2014 by Ann 5 Comments

A few weeks ago, we were getting back from Tijuana, Mexico and our church’s family mission trip. Those words don’t always go together–“family” and “mission trip.” But our church is committed to ministry that is done with the entire family, which I love and which also makes me feel like we are slightly crazy. Crazy because we had children from six months of age to fourteen on this trip–and between the three Antioch churches that connected together to serve our sister church in Tijuana, there were nearly 100 of us in Tijuana. With lots and lots of small kids running around in a foreign city, in a place where most of us don’t speak the language, there was bound to be some chaos. Some kids got sick, some kids got really tired, some kids got really cranky (let’s be honest: a lot of us adults got really cranky).

And that, I found, is ok. Church is for the whole family, not just those who are old enough to sit quietly or travel well or eat whatever is put in front of them. Being on mission–serving others and sharing the Gospel and intentionally seeking to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a place where you don’t know your way around town–this is not just for people who are old enough to tie their own shoes and talk about faith competently and theologically.

Nope.

Church is for the whole family. Which means that being on mission is for the whole family. Which means that it is worth it to take my one-year old on a trip she will not remember to a nation where we know no one and share the Gospel with people in a language we barely speak. Because we are a family. And I refuse to keep my child out of church and out of doing what the church does until she is “old enough.”

Was it challenging and difficult at times? Yes. Was it fun and exciting and rewarding at times, too? Yes.

I want church and ministry and mission to be so woven into the fabric of our life as a family that it is Ella’s baseline for normal. And so she does church with us now. We show up every Sunday for service, even when it interrupts her nap. She comes to small group and plays with the college kids on Tuesday nights. She dances while Mom and Dad play worship music in the house. She listens while Daddy practices his sermons. And she comes with us when we go on mission trips.

And she is learning a lot of things, even now, that she doesn’t have words for. And it is worth it. Because He is worth it.

(And, praise God for the Ergo. And for squeezie pouches that make it through customs. Amen.)

Filed Under: Baby, God, Ministry, Writing Wednesdays Tagged With: church, family, family mission trip, Mexico, ministry, mission trip, Tijuana, traveling as a family

So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview with Rachel Olson

July 14, 2014 by Ann 1 Comment

Well, this Church Lady series keeps heartening and challenging me–I hope it is doing the same for you! Today we get to heart from the wonderful Rachel Olson. I met Rachel at the Hope Spoken conference this last spring, and she was a joy to interact with right off the bat. We talked about life and ministry and her sweet son, and I felt so welcomed in her presence. Rachel is a woman after God’s heart, and I’m excited for you to hear from her today! Connect with Rachel on her blog or on Instagram, too.

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1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.
Our wonderful church of 300 members sits on the outskirts of our small Michigan town. My husband, Josh, was assigned to be an associate pastor here after he graduated from Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary in 2010. Our church is one of over 1,700 congregations all over the world that make up the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. Both Josh and I have been WELS members for our entire lives and this entire church body, the people and the work being done in Jesus’ name, is very important and special to us!

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
You know the lady who comes running into church as the service is starting with a little one on her hip, wet hair, and cracker crumbs on her shoulder? That is me sometimes. In the early years of my Josh’s ministry, I was involved quite a bit “behind the scenes” but was somewhat limited in what I was able to help with as mamahood needed to come first. What an encouragement it was to me that our congregation accepted that with such ease and grace! Now that my son is a bit older, I help coordinate our youth Sunday School program, organize fellowship and outreach events, and take part in various ladies groups and Bible classes. My biggest involvement in our church is supporting my fantastic, hard working husband in his role as pastor. He always says that he couldn’t do what he does without my help and support. What a joy and privilege!

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
One unique gift I have been given is the ability to chat with anyone and everyone about anything at anytime. J I am a people person, a cheerleader, an encourager. My goal on Sunday mornings and all throughout the week is to greet people with a smile, ask questions, and truly connect with them. As time has passed since we began serving here, I have been able to go from simple, easy small talk with church members or people in the community to more deep and meaningful conversations with them. I hope that means I am a trusted person in their life. I truly love my church family and want to know each and every one of them. Some relationships have come easy and others I really have to work at, but they are all precious to me. I am in awe that God can use me (me!!) to impact and encourage these beautiful, flawed, redeemed-by-Jesus people.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Let me tell you a secret. I never planned on being a pastor’s wife because I married a carpenter. Well, God’s plans are certainly not our plans! And they blow ours out of the water with goodness and grace. Two years into our marriage, my husband felt very strongly about going to Seminary so we switched gears and here we are! Over the past four years, we have had some ups and downs, hurts and frustrations in our ministry, but that is expected in a sinful world that needs a Savior. Being a pastor’s wife has taught me that it’s not about me. At all! It is about sharing Jesus and loving others well. Even when it’s hard. Even when it feels like we aren’t getting anywhere. Even when we are tired or discouraged. Those are the times that we lean even more into the arms of our Lord who is Love and Strength and Peace. He will carry us through.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
Church has forever been and will always be important to me because it is the body of Christ. Jesus is the head and the Church is His body. I certainly want to be a part of this unique and beautiful mystery designed by God! My prayer every day, for myself and for our entire church, is for guidance, courage, and opportunities to be His hands, His mouth piece, His feet. I want everything we do and say to be for His glory. I love that this work of ministry does not rest on one person’s shoulders, but instead as a group we can come together and function as one.

Church is a gift and it is a giver. It is both. I come and am filled up so that I can serve and give and live for Him.

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Rachel, thank you so much! You are a woman of grace and joy, and I’m so thankful for the ways that you love God and his people so well. Thanks for opening up your heart and life with us today; I’m so glad I know you!

Filed Under: So You Say You're a Church Lady Series Tagged With: adoptive family, blessed by his hand, church, church lady, church lady blog, ministry, pastor's wife, women in ministry

So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview With Kristi James

July 7, 2014 by Ann 2 Comments

Friends, you are in for a treat today. Kristi James of And Babies Don’t Keep is here today for the Church Lady series I have been running on Mondays. I have connected with Kristi through social media and–let me tell you–this woman is choosing Jesus! I love hearing her heart for the church and I think you’ll agree with me that her yes to God is beautiful because it is costing her something–and yet it is a sacrifice she is willing to give Him because He is worthy! If you don’t know Kristi, you can connect with her at her blog, on Facebook, or through Twitter and Instagram! She’s a woman worth getting to know.

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1. Tell us a little bit about the church you’re apart of.

Duff and I are planting City Church, in Asheville, NC. We moved here 3 years ago (after being asked by our Presbytery) and spent about 6 months getting to know (and falling in love with) the city before officially starting. We did what we said we’d never do – a parachute plant – which means we dropped in on our own, without a core group waiting for us. Asheville is a phenomenal city, and while it’s in the south, it’s more eclectic than most of the surrounding areas. So if we’re going to use the Bible Belt metaphor, Asheville might be the handmade belt buckle (think hipster, not cowboy), rather than part of the actual belt itself.

That’s to say that things are different here, including our church plant. We gathered a core group over the first couple of years, and then watched half of them leave, over time, for more stable jobs. God has done so many things along the way to remind us that this is his church, he loves it more than we can imagine. That helps a great deal as we’ve watched friends leave town or felt especially small or alone. At this point, we’re made up of about 20 people, meeting Sunday afternoons for worship and Wednesday evenings in a small group setting. Ultimately, we want to be a church where people can explore the claims of Jesus, experience the grace of God in community, employ their resources for the glory of God and the welfare of our city, and extend the hope of Jesus to Asheville and beyond.

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
Being an active member of a church is SO good. It took until halfway through college for me to understand that. Also, I worked at a church after college, so I was expected to be there, and that helped me settle into the habit of church, which lead me to a deeper appreciation for not just being present, but being involved.

So today, I’m the church planter’s wife and I have three young kids (Olivia is 4, Eliza is almost 3, and Piper is 5 months old). So sometimes what it looks like is me, walking into church feeling lonely (because Duff has been gone all day) and needy (because…kids…) and walking out a few hours later knowing that I’m not alone, after watching our church family love my biological family well.

As far as what I do for/with/at church, I coordinate the childcare (terribly, I might add), I/we offer our home several times a week for official and unofficial church stuff. I used to lead our women’s small group but we split that up in preparation for Piper’s birth, so sometimes I lead and sometimes I have the privilege of soaking up what my friends have to share with us from scripture.

Mostly? I feel like my biggest responsibility is caring for Duff. Listening as he works out his sermons, freeing him to go drive through the mountains if he’s wrestling with something, being frustrated with him when things aren’t going the way we’d like, celebrating with him when things fall into place, and reminding him that while his calling in this is unique, he’s not alone. I don’t do that perfectly, by any means, but it’s my favorite part.

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
At our former church, there were multiple pastors and multiples pastor’s wives and I was the youngest by at least 12 years. I wasn’t really needed like we sometimes picture the pastor’s wife being needed (to play piano and make casseroles), which was nice, in a way. But here, we’re it. And I think that’s been good for both of us. When your church family is looking at you to teach, you teach. And then you realize that you kind of love that. When someone in your church has a new baby, you walk through that adjustment, reminding them that while you’ve got three now, once upon a time, you only had one, and you felt alone and confused and totally delighted all at once, too. When a couple needs some help working through issues in their marriage, you have them over, and you and your counselor-husband listen to them and encourage them and pray with them.

I would say that being here in this role has allowed (and required) me to stick my toe in the waters of things I hoped I could do, like teaching and writing and being passionate about reminding each other that we are dearly loved children.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Being part of a church can be so hard! And I think sometimes we’re surprised by that. When I was in college, I went through a break-up that changed everything for me (for the better, actually). But afterwards, I would sometimes see this guy at church. For an entire year, I felt sick to my stomach driving to church, and I’d pray, “God please help me be a woman of grace and ease. Please help me be a woman of grace and ease. Please help me to not throw up, and please help me be a woman of grace and ease.” I felt most vulnerable in the place where I wanted to feel the safest.

But I kept going. Because I needed church, even though it was hard. I wasn’t always immediately welcomed by people who made me feel super comfortable. I didn’t always feel known or even noticed by my pastor. It took work! But it was something I needed to be able to make it through the week. Duff talks about God’s people coming in, gathering together to remember God’s truth, to be sent back out. And I needed that, I needed to come in and be reminded, so that I could go back out.

I don’t always feel such intense feelings about church. Like most Christians, sometimes it’s hard for me to want to go. But I choose to go, to stay, to commit, because God says that’s the best way to live. It’s like being part of your family. You’re bound together, and that doesn’t mean it’s always easy or comfortable, or that people are always good and kind, but when you’re committed it means you can make it through mistakes and brokenness and find love and safety within the bounds of that family.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
Guys, this is kind of hard for me to write! All of these questions are. Church is hard right now. Church planting is vulnerable business and I’m kind of tired of being vulnerable. In Genesis, when God makes the covenant with Abraham, he cuts and animal in half and lays it open. Normally, when making a covenant, the two parties would walk through together, as if to say, “May this happen to me if I break this covenant, if I don’t keep my end of the deal.” When God made the covenant with Abraham, he passed through it alone, as if to say, “I’m covering your half. You cannot do this. You would be laid out like this if you tried. But I will do it for you. I’ll cover my part and yours.” I know this is kind of a jump, but on the hard days, I feel laid out like that animal. I know I can’t keep my end of the deal. I can’t make this church happen or be the perfect wife or mom. Church planting highlights all of the hard truths for me.

When I feel laid out, cut in two, wide open and vulnerable, that picture of God passing through, covering all parts, is incredibly comforting. Often the church is the biggest source of anxiety in my life. But I love it fiercely because it is also where I am directed to my only relief, my only hope.

I value the church because Jesus did. Jesus said this church is my bride. It’s a messy, unfaithful, screwed up bride but I love her and I’ll do anything to hold her close. I’ll pass through both sides of the animal for her.

So, while I know that Jesus loves me,
Kristi James,
wife of Duff
and mom to Liv, Eliza, and Piper,
she who doesn’t really like chicken but could eat tacos every day,
she who can’t spell vinaigrette without spellcheck,
and she who thought she was “campy” but turns out to be “glampy…”

I also know that it’s not just about me and him, Jesus and me, it’s about us, his people, his ecclesia, his church. We are not alone in this, he’s given us to each other, and I love that. I won’t miss out on that.