Christianity – Page 10

Complaining is a Spiritual Problem: An Article for RELEVANT Magazine

August 20, 2014 by Ann 5 Comments

I really don’t like cleaning the dishes. I’d rather fold laundry, change a diaper, vacuum—anything. I will gladly do a lot of things before I have to do the dishes. And we even have a dishwasher.

And although I cringe to admit it, I have complained about “having” to clean the dishes to my husband, my sister, my friends—just about anyone who will listen. Typing that out makes me sound like a whiny 3-year-old. Which, if I’m being honest, is true. Sometimes I act like a spiritual 3-year-old. I complain about dishes, I complain about traffic, I complain about the weather. You name it, I’ve probably complained about it in some form or fashion.

Complaining, griping, whining, grousing—whatever you want to call it, it’s a spiritual problem.

The problem is not, actually, the dirty dishes. And the problem is not the backup on I-355 or the snow that wouldn’t budge for six months.

The problem is me. The problem is how I see the world.

The Center of the Universe

Because when I put myself at the center of existence, everything that isn’t tailor-made to my desires becomes something I can complain about. My husband’s pastoring job that keeps him out late several times a week? I see it as a hindrance to my own personal happiness when I have to eat dinner alone or put our daughter to bed without his help.

The fact that our car busted its water pipe and we have to pay hundreds of dollars for a new one? I see it as money that I shouldn’t have to spend. The laundry that I forgot in the washer for two days that now smells awful and needs to be re-washed? I see it as an inconvenience and an annoyance. The fact that I have to spend hours and hours every week grading stacks of papers that my students may barely review? I see it as a thankless part of my teaching job. All because I am setting myself at the center of my life.

Complaining is a spiritual problem. Share on X

How We Respond to Life Matters to God

Now hear me—I’m not talking about dealing with the very real, very sobering, very heart-wrenching realities that millions of people in the world face every day. Horrible things are happening in this country and around the world as I type this, and as Christians, we are called to attend to the hurting and poor and to offer help that is both spiritual and tangible. Those things deserve true grieving and tears and a mighty response of compassion. Complaining about life and seeking justice for genuine wrongs are two different things.

But that’s not what this is about. This is about the daily complaints that I mutter—that many of us mutter—in the regularity of our lives. I’m not trying to make myself or anyone else feel guilty about “first-world problems,” because most of us reading this will never face starvation or genocide. But what we will face is our own lives, and how we respond to our own lives matters to God, because it is the only life we can live.

And so this is where I must turn to the truth of a different reality—one where I’m not the sun that everything else is circling around. The Bible tells me about this different reality, about a King and His Kingdom, and it tells me that I am decidedly not at the center of this world.

1 Corinthians 4:7 asks the question: “What do you have that you did not receive?” And to that question, I must reply: nothing. My husband who works late for his job? Both the man and his job are gifts from God, who has given me a spouse and has provided for our family through that job. The car that needs repairing? That car is a gift from God: it transports us to where we need to go, safely and quickly. The washing machine that holds smelly laundry? That is a gift from God that enables us to wash our clothes easily and effectively. The job that keeps me glued to my desk? That is a gift from God that allows me to use my talents in ways that help others.

Choosing to see the gifts in front of me is the quickest way to stop complaining in my life. Share on X

The Gift

All of it, a gift. And when I see from this perspective, I have no room for complaint. Yes, there are many difficult days in this life we live, but everything we have—even the lemon of a car or the job that keeps us up late—all of these things are gifts from a generous God. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17)

So when the traffic slows or the weather freezes or the dishes pile up, I have a choice. I can see myself at the center of the world and grouse about everything that doesn’t make my life easier. Or I can acknowledge the truth that I am not on any throne, but that the King who is has given me everything I have—even my heart beating in my chest—as a gift.

And so here is what I can offer instead of complaint: thankfulness. Gratefulness. Praise.

Click here to read this article at RELEVANT, where it was originally published!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Life, Writing Tagged With: Christian marriage, Christianity, church, complaining, complaining is a spiritual problem, faith, guest post, Jesus, RELEVANT, Relevant Magazine, soul tired, spiritual problem, whining

Getting the Royal Room: How the Worst Led to the Best

August 18, 2014 by Ann 1 Comment

Sorry for the radio silence over here. Michael and I spent last week on a marriage/counseling retreat (it was SO GOOD), and I really unplugged as much as I could in order to focus on what God was doing in my inner life. It’s amazing, really, to take extended time to consider what’s going on internally and work through it with God and with your spouse. I think I will have more to share about our time there later, but I need to do some more processing with God on my own before I crack that egg open in this space.

I keep meaning to share one of our unexpected experiences from our time in the United Kingdom. In case you missed it, we spent about two weeks in England and Scotland last month (yes, we took Ella with us!), which was so refreshing for this woman who loves to travel and see the world. We went to Oxford, the Peak District, Edinburgh, and London–in that order. By the time we got to London, we were lagging a bit–two weeks overseas with a baby is a lot. Thankfully, we were staying in a lovely hotel we found last-minute once we learned that our original reserved hotel did not have air-conditioning (it was in the 80s…England is not big on A/C). Like most London hotels, the rooms were small. We didn’t mind–there was room for our bed and a Pack n Play, so we were happy.

But the first night we were there, cigarette smoke started pouring in through the air conditioning vent. Initially, I thought I must have been imagining it. It was a non-smoking hotel, and I’m overly sensitive to smoke, so I thought maybe I was smelling something on my clothes, or it was coming in through a window. But after about half an hour of increased smoke, I called the front desk. They immediately arranged for a room change, and two bellhops helped us carry all of our (now-opened) luggage and a sleeping baby into a new room across the hotel.

Ella didn’t wake up while I carried her through the hotel lobby like a pajama-ed sack of potatoes. Alleluia.

Unfortunately, that new room was right next to the housekeeping closet, and I heard that door slamming until midnight. Ella kept sleeping, but this mama didn’t.

The next night, I requested–three times–that they not slam the door, or that they put a towel in the door to keep it from slamming, etc. No luck. The door kept slamming, keeping me up past eleven. I may sound like a wimp, but 11 pm for me now feels like 4 am did in college. It’s way past my bedtime. I was exhausted, and sad that our vacation was ending on this note.

We had become friends with one of the receptionists at the hotel, and the next morning I told her about the slamming door. I wanted to see if she could ask if a towel could permanently be put in the door frame, or if her request for quiet would carry more weight than mine.

Instead, she said that she was going to give us the best room in the hotel for that night–our last night in England. It was a room built by a king, literally. They took our luggage upstairs and we opened the door.

And I laughed and laughed and laughed.

The bathroom was bigger than our living room.

The bedroom was bigger than the main level of our home.

It was ridiculously nice. It was unbelievably big. It was too much. I went back down to the lobby to tell our friend at the desk that we were overwhelmed. She smiled.

And as I walked through our new hotel room, unable to stop laughing, I was reminded of the ridiculousness of God’s extravagance in giving his own Son for us. I felt like he reminded me that his love and his grace are like this–unexpected, undeserved, unbelievably big. Too much for me to take in or understand. And it makes him happy to see me receive his love and grace with laughter and open arms and joy.

We enjoyed that room and we all slept well. And I know that although that room was originally built by a king, it was the King Himself that gave us such a sweet and undeserved gift that last night in England. It was a gift I’ll never forget, and one I’m truly grateful for.

Filed Under: God, Life, Uncategorized Tagged With: blessings, Christianity, England, faith, faith in God, hotel, hotel upgrade, living like a king, london, traveling in the UK, traveling with kids, trusting God, upgrade

A Hospital Visit in London, or A Bad Start to Our Vacation and True Refreshment

August 6, 2014 by Ann 11 Comments

You know that feeling you have right before going on vacation? That mix of excitement, hope, and exhaustion? When we left three Sundays ago for our family trip to the United Kingdom with my sister and her husband, we were thrilled to be traveling and we also felt desperate for a break. As a ministry family, the lines of church and life often blur, and it can feel difficult to really get “away” from a job that also happens to be central to every other aspect of your life—friendships, family, spiritual growth—the list goes on. We were excited to be hopping across the pond where our phones wouldn’t be constantly buzzing. We were excited to rest.

Yes, that’s Ella under that scarf. She had the best seat(s) on the plane!

Ours was an overnight flight to London, and it started with Ella throwing up all over me as the flight was taking off. She had been fighting an ear infection but had been on the upswing, so we didn’t think much about it. I thanked Jesus that I had packed one of my extra shirts in her carry-on bag, changed into it, and settled her down to get some sleep. She slept like a champ on the flight and although neither Michael nor I got any real sleep, we knew we were heading to Oxford that day (one of our favorite cities) and could go to sleep early.

We rode the tube from Heathrow to London Paddington, tired but happy to finally be on vacation. Ella was in the Ergo on Michael, and when we finally got to the train station we realized how hungry we were. Due to some electrical issues, our train was delayed—along with most of the others that should have been taking off that morning from London. Paddington was a madhouse, and did I mention we were tired? All four of us adults hadn’t slept in about 24 hours. But we found a spot of floor, put all of our luggage down, and looked for some food. I offered Ella a squeezie pouch. And that is when she started to vomit all over me and all over herself. I was soaked through every layer of my clothing, and Ella was burning up. After taking her temperature, we realized that she needed to see a doctor. But here we were in London, and we hardly knew where to find a restroom, let alone a doctor.

We discovered there was a private medical clinic in the Paddington Station (yay!) but went to the office and found out they don’t see children (no!). They recommended we go to the A&E (Accident & Emergency) Department of St. Mary’s Hospital, within walking distance. At this point, Michael and I were starting to feel overwhelmed. Ella needed help and we felt helpless—it’s an awful feeling as a parent. We didn’t know our way around the city and “walking distance” was a positive spin on the distance we had to walk with our luggage and a sick baby. By the time we found the A&E and realized that it could take hours for Ella to be seen, she was asleep in the Ergo, and Michael and I sat in an un-air-conditioned waiting room, raw to the core.

So many thoughts went through my mind, and I said some of them aloud to Michael: Vacation isn’t supposed to be like this. We need to rest. We are so tired. This trip was supposed to be our break. We need this trip to be refreshing.

I had prayed for months that none of us would get sick on this trip—the exact scenario that we were living through was the thing I dreaded most about traveling with Ella. I was afraid of pushing her past her limits, being in an environment where we couldn’t help her, and seeing her struggle as a result.

But here we were, in a hot waiting room in London, in a healthcare system we knew little about, needing help for our little girl. And we looked at each other and both of us were in tears.

And we did the only thing we knew to do. Michael held Ella as I read Psalm 23 out loud.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord 

And we didn’t fight the tears, and we asked God to heal our little girl and to help us. And I felt God’s presence and his love there in that hospital room, and I knew, afresh, that we were not alone.

And God carried us. Ella was able to keep liquids down, and medicine helped keep her temperature in a normal range. We made it to Oxford on a later train, and checked in to a hotel that will forever be a reminder of God’s grace to us. It felt like home: we slept well there, and we felt taken care of by God himself.

And although it was maybe the worst way to start our vacation, the vomiting and the fever and the hospital visit all reminded us of one very important thing. We didn’t need a vacation. (And we never deserve one.) What we did need was God. His presence is rest for my soul. His word is encouragement for my heart. His nearness is refreshing beyond any vacation. And He, himself, is our final home.

So much of the trip was amazing and wonderful and refreshing. The first 24 hours were decidedly not. But God was with us. And He met us just as much in that hospital waiting room as he did on the top of the mountain we climbed in the Peak District. He is near. And He alone is the refreshment that we really need.

Filed Under: Baby, Marriage, Parenting Tagged With: Christianity, faith, international travel, Psalm 23, refreshment, rest, Travel, traveling with kids, vacation

So You Say You’re a Church Lady: An Interview with Jess Connolly

August 4, 2014 by Ann 1 Comment

Today is the last interview in the Church Lady series that has been running all summer here on my blog. It has been so amazing to get to hear from the incredible women who participated in this series. If you haven’t had a chance to read them all, it is definitely worth your time. Every single one of these women are laying their lives down for the sake of the Gospel and for the Church. They are lovers of Jesus, lovers of their families, and lovers of people. It has been an honor to hear from each of them.

We end this series today with the privilege of getting to hear from Jess Connolly, the gracious woman behind her blog, Jess Connolly, and her business, Naptime Diaries. This woman is a powerhouse–she is a church-planting pastor’s wife, a mom of four, a blogger, a shop owner, and the co-founder of The Influence Conference and The Influence Network. I’m thankful she took the time to talk about church for this series. Make sure to connect with Jess through her blog!

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1. Tell us a little bit about the church that you’re a part of.
The church I’m apart of is my husband’s first solo church plant. We’re here in Charleston, SC. We had our first public service in January of this year and we’re having fun. It’s crazy and wild and our home is basically our church right now – but it’s so fun watching this community grow.

2. What does it look like, in your life, to be an active part of your church?
In my life, to be active in my church, looks like loving on my husband, supporting him and listening to him, praying for him. It looks like being my kid’s main caregiver so that he is freed up to go about his schedule – which can fluctuate at any moment due to meetings, etc. It looks like loving on the women – discipling them, welcoming them into our home and seeing our day to day life. It looks like picking up and serving where there are needs, even if I don’t feel very good at that form of serving. Mostly, it looks like embodying Gospel Community – celebrating the good news that Jesus came for me, and doing so in the midst of community.

3. How are your unique gifts and abilities strengthened by being part of a local church?
In this season, I wouldn’t say I’m out and out using my gifts for our church. I’m not writing or speaking for our church, but that doesn’t mean that my gifts aren’t being sharpened. As I’m discipling women and walking in humility, I’m remembering and growing in the power of the gospel. For me, doing the very real on the ground work of meeting with women and seeing where they’re at, it really helps me as I move forward publicly sharing the gospel, speaking and writing elsewhere.

4. How has being part of a church challenged and changed you?
Being a part of a church challenges me to stay near the heart of the gospel. Being in community and growing together reminds me that this faith is not all about me. I genuinely can’t imagine walking intimately with the Lord without community.

5. Why do you value church? What do you love about church?
I value the church because I think it will absolutely sustain. Culture changes, our hearts change, our feelings change, but God’s Word and His hope for His bride stands firm. There are times where I don’t necessarily want to believe that and I’d rather be left alone to do my own thing, but I know that isn’t best.

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Thank you so much, Jess–both for sharing your heart here and for living your life faithfully for Jesus and his people. And thank you to all of the women who participated in this series! I am blessed and honored to have had your voices shared here.

Filed Under: So You Say You're a Church Lady Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christianity, church, Church Lady series, church planting, faith, family, Jessi Connolly, ministry, Naptime Diaries, women in ministry

What Christians Get Wrong About Discipleship: An Article at RELEVANT Magazine

August 1, 2014 by Ann 3 Comments

I’m writing over at RELEVANT Magazine today about a topic that stirs my soul: discipleship. Please read the article, join the conversation, and let me know what you think about this issue that is so central to the Christian life! Here’s the start of the article:

To those of us who follow Jesus, discipleship should be a central aspect of our faith. This is because Jesus commanded His followers—in what is commonly referred to as “The Great Commission”—to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:18-20).

It’s not a suggestion that Jesus makes here. It’s a command, a charge.

What is discipleship? Put simply, discipleship means intentionally partnering with another Christian in order to help that person obey Jesus and grow in relationship with Him—so that he or she can then help others do the same. Jesus taught His disciples to follow Him and obey His commands so that they could lead others to do the same after His death, resurrection and ascension. The Apostle Paul continues the pattern with Timothy and encourages him to keep the cycle going: “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2).

But how do we live out this command and actually do what we’ve been called to do? It can help, I think, to look at what we might be getting wrong about discipleship in order to understand how to get it right.

Discipleship Isn’t Easy.

Salvation is free, but discipleship will cost us our lives. Jesus put it bluntly:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” (Luke 9:23-25)

To be a disciple of Jesus means that we have given up our lives in order to follow Him wholeheartedly and unreservedly. It means that our lives are no longer our own—they are His.

Discipleship Isn’t “Just Me and Jesus.”

While discipleship is all about Jesus, it’s not a solitary endeavor. Discipleship is relational, and to fully respond to the Great Commission, we need to be disciples who are making disciples of Jesus. This means we need to spend consistent time with other believers.

Jesus and His disciples spent a lot of time together (Acts 1:21-22). They ate together, walked together, rode in boats together. They even fought together (Luke 9:46-48). The 12 disciples were in one another’s lives, constantly and intentionally.

While we are all called to become disciples of Jesus, we become disciples with one another, learning how to love God and each other as we go. We need to allow others to disciple us by letting them challenge us and encourage us in our walk with God. This is why church and honest relationships with other believers are so central to the Christian life—we need one another in this journey of becoming wholehearted disciples of Jesus.

Read the rest of the article here, at RELEVANT!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Writing Tagged With: Christian living, Christianity, church, disciple, discipleship, faith, great commission, Relevant Magazine

Getting The Real Things Done

July 23, 2014 by Ann 1 Comment

I am one of those people who really enjoys feeling on top of things. My husband can vouch for the fact that I am the most stressed when I feel like I’m “falling behind” in life or when I feel like opportunities are slipping away because I’m running out of time. Part of this is due to my personality and my high “Achiever” strength on StrengthsFinder (any other SF nerds out there? We love it in our household and on our church staff!). Let’s just say this: I love getting things done. I love being productive. I love ticking things off of my to-do list. You now no longer need to wonder why I loved being a student for so many years.

But since Ella joined our family–really, even before that because of how sick I was during pregnancy–my ability to “get things done” has decreased. A lot.

Well, let me clarify. I get a lot of things done every day. I spend time with the Lord. I connect with my husband. I snuggle with my daughter. I feed her. I keep her clean. We play together. We read books and buy groceries together and I talk to her about this world she has joined. Most days I get a workout in, some days I even make dinner. Some days I write. I do a lot.

But in a world of resumes and Instagram and Facebook, I don’t always have a lot to “show” for my days. And for this “achiever,” that can push my buttons. Because when I publish an article, or when I teach a class, or when I show up for a meeting, the outside world knows that I’m doing something.

But here in our home, the only one who sees most of what I do is God. And I am learning to not only accept that, but delight in that. Because although it rubs me the wrong way sometimes that I can’t measure my life anymore by the grades I receive on papers or the scores I get on tests or the things I “do” every day that have external measurements, God is teaching me a different kind of measurement.

Faithfulness. Obedience. Trust.

Am I loving my Savior? Loving my husband? Loving my daughter? Faithfulness.

Am I serving God’s people? Serving my husband? Serving my daughter? Obedience.

Am I giving God my dreams and desires? Choosing to walk in peace? Believing the Word of God? Trust.

These are the markers of my life these days, now more than ever. Yes, I still teach and write and serve in our church. I have external ways that I could judge my own life, but those things will drive me crazy because I will never measure up to those around me. But here, in my own life, I can respond to what God has called me to: Faithfulness. Obedience. Trust.

And while I can’t “achieve” any of these things on my own, as I walk with Jesus daily, he is growing me in these things.

And I am learning about getting the real things done–the eternal things.