Receiving Grace: Friendship that Points to Jesus

Things have been a little quieter around here, in large part because I’m back to teaching. But they’re also quieter because I’ve intentionally pulled back a bit. I’ve realized, over the last month, that my heart simply needs more time away from the screen, and even from the words that I love so much. More time to rest, more time to think, more time to journal, more time to pray. I need more time with my husband, I need more time with my little girl, I need more time with the women who hold up my arms as a new mom and are in these beautiful and difficult trenches with me.

Ann Swindell + Life with a Toddler

I have been feeling soul-tired lately, and when that happens its time to get back to the basics: Jesus, family, friends, sleep. As a chronic over-achiever, I would like to think that I can push through anything, but that’s not the case.

And, so, I am slowing in the ways that I can. And I am opening up these soul-tired places in me to my friends. I am sharing my life with them so that they can speak truth, offer encouragement, and point me to Jesus. These are the things we have been doing for each other for years; lately, though, I find I am more on the receiving end than usual. And that’s ok. We all have seasons where we need others to offer their strength to us. I’m grateful.

My real-life friends are central in this journey I am living. But next week, I am also thankful that I get to go and make some new friends–and turn online friends into real-life friends. I’m headed to the Influence Conference, which focuses on keeping Jesus at the center of our online lives–something so beautiful and so necessary.

For those women who I will meet there, we are sharing a link-up. So here’s a bit about me: I’m a wife, mom, pastor’s wife, and college instructor. I was in school for most of my life as a student, and now I’m still in school–but on the other side of the classroom. I teach creative writing and creative nonfiction courses to college students, and I love it. I also write for multiple publications and love speaking to groups of women. My husband is my best friend and February will mark 10 years of dating (we’ve been married for 8+ of those years). I hope we have a good 60+ years left together! Our daughter, Ella, was born on our seventh anniversary and she is a delight!

I’m very much looking forward to the Strategy classes, and you’ll rarely find me without a cardigan (I get cold easily…and I’m a teacher. Ha!).

I’d love to meet you online as we prepare for #influenceconf, and I’m so looking forward to giving you a hug in person next week! Here’s to making much of Jesus!

Forty Years of Saying Yes

This past week, my parents celebrated forty years of marriage. Forty years! What an amazing milestone. What an incredible thing to celebrate. We live in a culture that glorifies weddings but often slams marriages. And yet what I have seen through the marriage of my parents is something that both rises above culture and challenges it.

 

NYC

My mom grew up as a pastor’s kid; when my parents were married my grandpa did the officiating, and my dad wore a white tuxedo with a powder blue ruffled button down shirt that spilled out from the lapels. After the wedding my father serenaded my mother on the church steps with “The Sweetheart of Sigma Chi” (the man can sing), and they held a reception at the church with punch and cake.

Their wedding was simple. God was honored, promises were made, cake was cut. In the grand scheme of wedding history and the Pinterest-crazy weddings that now take place, their wedding would have seemed, I can imagine, very unimpressive.

But it is their marriage that has proven impressive. It is their marriage that has proven those simple vows true a hundred thousand times over. And I have been one of the closest witnesses to that marriage.

I lived in a home where my parents spoke love to one another and to us every day. “I love you” rang throughout our house like a bell, the echo of the words always hanging until the bell was rung again.

I lived in a home where my parents did fun things together, where they enjoyed one another. I watched them host dinner parties and also get dressed up for nights out. I loved that they went on dates together.

I lived in a home where my parents talked to one another—and to us—openly and honestly. We had dinner together as a family most nights of the week and we shared our days with one another regularly.

I lived in a home where my parents kissed each other often and unashamedly. There was very little that made me happier as a child than to see how genuinely my parents were in love.

I lived in home where my parents told us that they would never divorce and that they would always be together. I am eternally grateful that they meant it.

I lived in a home where my parents laughed. And laughed. And laughed. I lived in a home where we all laughed together so hard sometimes that we had to pull away from the dinner table to catch our breath.

Is our family perfect? Hardly. Is their marriage perfect? By no means. But for forty years my parents have lived out their promises and their love with faithfulness and with tenderness and with joy—so much joy. They have walked through deep trials, as every marriage does. They have walked through countless changes, as any marriage stretched over forty years is bound to walk through. But they have clung to Christ and to each other, and their marriage is a beautiful representation of the love of Christ and his church.

Mom and Dad 40 years

I am honored to know them as parents and also as friends. And I celebrate you, Mom and Dad. Your faithfulness in marriage has borne great fruit. Thank you for saying yes at the altar forty years ago. And thank you for continuing to say yes to God and to each other every day of those last forty years. I love you both more than I can say.

Renewing Our Vows

Renewing our vows

May is our anniversary month; this year we will mark our eighth anniversary. We are on the far side of the first decade, now, and I am so, so grateful for our marriage.

A while ago, I wrote an article for Today’s Christian Woman about why we chose to renew our vows. I hope it encourages you–whether you are married or not. Marriage is a meant to be a beautiful picture of Christ and the Church, and Michael and I are seeking to reflect that in our own marriage, flawed as we are…

During our first year of marriage, Michael turned to me. I don’t remember the context or the occasion for his words, but I remember what he said. “Marriage isn’t celebrated nearly enough,” Michael said. “How about, every five years, we either throw a big party or go on a trip?”

I agreed and smiled, tucking away what he said in the back of my mind.

Last spring, as our five-year anniversary was approaching, I reminded Michael of those words.

“How about a vow-renewal party to celebrate five years?” I asked him. My little sister was getting married within the year, and I had been looking at wedding blogs and magazines with her. Vow renewals were becoming more popular, and as a romantic, I was smitten with the idea.

He raised his eyebrows quizzically. “What would that involve?”

“It would basically be a party where we have a short ceremony and say our marriage vows again. I think it would be a great chance to celebrate God’s faithfulness to us over these last five years.”

A week later, after thinking and praying together, we decided to nail down a date. “I love the idea,” Michael told me. “We can recommit to one another in front of our community and celebrate the gift of marriage together!”

Renewing our

A Community-Focused Celebration

Michael and I love our marriage, and although our marriage has not (yet) been long in years, we act as a source of counsel, encouragement, and challenge to many other couples in our church, where Michael is a pastor. We are strong proponents of marriage and love helping others catch the vision of biblically centered and peace-filled unions.

Together, we started brainstorming about the deeper purpose of our vow renewal.

“You know, we didn’t know any of the people in our church when we got married five years ago,” I mentioned to him.

Michael was nodding. “It’s crazy, isn’t it? Because we moved to a different church, our entire community has changed since the wedding. So many times, I’ve thought about how strange it is that none of our current friends were there when we got married.”

“Right! And I know that they know we’re committed to our marriage vows, but there is something really meaningful about speaking vows in front of people who see you week in and week out.”

Michael was tapping his pen on the kitchen table. “That’s a big part of the reason I’m really getting excited about this party. Saying our vows again—with our friends there—gives us and them a higher level of accountability in our marriage.” He stopped tapping his pen and looked at me, then at the list of people we were going to invite. “This will be so fun.”

Read the rest of the article here.

Are you waiting for God to break through in your life? Still Waiting by Ann Swindell at annswindell.com