Creating Friendships that Last

The Secret to Creating Friendships that Last www.annswindell.com

This is the start of my newest piece for RELEVANT Magazine.
You can read the article here.

In a world bloated with quick fixes, instant gratification and social media profiles, it can be hard to know how to build—and keep—lasting friendships. And while we may want to portray a particular side of ourselves online, the truth is that we need friends who know us here and now, in the middle of our mess and our daily routines. And we need to be those types of friends, too.

The secret to these kinds of friendships is actually pretty simple: You just have to show up.

The secret to the best kind of #friendship? Keep showing up. Share on X

The Scriptures calls us to draw near to Christ and to draw near to one another: “let us draw near [to Christ] with a true heart in full assurance of faith,” and “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:22, 24-25). As people of faith, we are called to live so that we are encouraging those around us toward love and good deeds. I think this comes most obviously and importantly through deep, meaningful friendship.

Here’s how to start—and build—friendships where we spur one another on to godly lives and where we reflect God’s love to one another:

Show Up With a Meal.

A friend doesn’t have to be sick to need a meal. A new baby doesn’t have to be born, and it doesn’t have to be a holiday. Many times, we need a friend to care for us—spiritually and practically—in the midst of our everyday lives when things just feel like a little too much to handle. I’ve taken meals to friends who are emotionally overwhelmed, to friends who have sick kids and to friends who just need a break from adulting. If you don’t cook: Take a pizza. Breaking bread together—sharing meals—is something that marked the early church, and it’s not hard to understand why. Sharing a meal together feeds both the body and the soul. It’s not hard—it just takes intentionality.

We all need friends who give us a break from adulting. Share on X

Show Up With Prayer.

Hanging out and talking, watching a game together, laughing together—these are good gifts of friendship. But being friends who follow Jesus also offers us the rich opportunity to pray not only for but with one another. I’ve found that my times of prayer with friends have been some of the deepest and most steadying parts of our friendship.

Can it be awkward, especially if you’ve never prayed together? Sure. But it can also crack open the opportunity for deeper relationship and trust. Maybe you can’t help your friend practically, with her need or with his struggle. But you can pray with your friend, right there, asking God to meet that need and provide grace in the struggle. If you don’t know what to pray, consider getting a copy of The Book of Common Prayer and praying a liturgical prayer together. It doesn’t have to be fancy. But when two or three of us get together in the name of Jesus, He’s there with us (Matthew 18:19-20). When we pray, He hears us, and moves on our behalf.

Read about other ways to show up here, at RELEVANT.

Pursuing Your Passion in the Margins

Why it's ok if your passion isn't your full time thing right now. www.annswindell.com
This is the start of my newest article for Darling Magazine.

You can read the full article here!

While we wish it were otherwise, most of us don’t have the luxury of pursuing our creative passions as a full-time job. Whether we love painting or pouring candles, writing or dancing, event planning or photography, the truth is that we don’t often make a living from those passions. Instead, we find pockets of time to shadow those desires on the weekends, the evenings, and, often, when we could be sleeping. We read articles and books about our hobbies, and spend our money on the passion we love so dearly. But we aren’t waking up every morning to head to a studio or the craft room or the keyboard. Instead, we get up and work at jobs that don’t set our hearts aflame.

Those hours in the margins are often charged with the electricity of a soul on fire. Share on X

There were a lot of years where I bemoaned my lack of time to pursue my passion. I’m a writer at heart, a woman who comes alive with the tap of keys on the keyboard, a woman who could spend hours each day whittling down a paragraph until it sings with the vibrancy of power and precision. But for most of my adult life, I’ve been a writer in the margins, pulling out my laptop in the evenings or on the weekends, taking twenty minutes over lunch or an hour after work to finish an article or pen a chapter.

And for a while, I thought I was missing out. I spent my best hours, I believed, working as an administrative assistant, and later as a teacher — for ten years. I gave those “normal” work hours to jobs that I deeply valued but that didn’t necessarily hit the sweet spot of all of my dreams and passions. I supposed that because I wasn’t a full time writer — a full time creative — I wasn’t doing the beautiful, meaningful work that I could be doing if only I had the time.

I was wrong.

I can say that because, in many ways, I’m on the other side of the proverbial fence now; I work as a writer and writing coach. I’m a full-time creative — well, as full-time as I can be while also being a wife and mother, and being primarily at home with my toddler. But I’m making a living as a writer, and when I’m working at my job, it’s (mostly) in my creative sweet spot.

And I have learned that I’m not more creative because I have more time. I’m not even convinced that I’m producing “better” work because I have more hours to work in.

Having to squeeze our passions into the margins of our lives is a good, good thing. Share on X

In fact, what I’m realizing now is that the necessary boundaries that most of us live in — our jobs, our responsibilities, the hours we give to mothering and laundry-folding and meal-making and grocery shopping — those boundaries are actually gifts to us, if we will receive them that way. Having to squeeze our passions into the margins of our lives is a good, good thing.

You can read the rest of the article here, at Darling Magazine!

And if you’re a writer, don’t miss out on this post!

Images via Sé Kipp

I’m Speaking at #BlogHer16!

Today, I’m honored and excited to share that I’ll be speaking at #BlogHer16: Experts Among Us, the annual conference for the BlogHer Network!

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The conference will be held in LA this coming August, and I have the privilege of speaking at an Open Lab about one of my favorite topics: writing!

Specifically, I’ll be teaching about sensory writing, offering attendees the opportunity to engage in powerful writing tactics to help catapult their work to the next level. Speaking and teaching are near and dear to my heart, and I can’t wait to talk at the conference in August!

Let me know if you’re attending–I’d love to see you there in the sunshine as we talk about writing together.

5 Resources to Help You Develop and Determine Your Calling

5 Resources to Help You Develop & DetermineYour Calling

This is the start of my newest article for Darling Magazine.
You can read the entire article here, at Darling!

It’s a question that most of us bump up against for decades, no matter what it is we are in the middle of doing: Is this what I’m called to do?  We wonder, in the middle of our working and coaching and mothering and writing and dancing and dating and marrying and studying:

Should I be doing something else? Why am I still not sure what I’m made for?

Let us remember this first: None of us are stagnant souls. We will not be called to do the same thing in the same way for the whole of our lives. Our “calling” and our purpose in any particular season of life may shift and change, as we do. But at this start of the new year, it is worthwhile to step back from the immediacy of the demands we face in order to re-evaluate what our calling might look like in this particular time. It is valuable to seek to develop our purpose right now so that we can live fully and presently, exactly where we are.

None of us are stagnant souls. We will not be called to do the same thing in the same way for the whole of our lives. Share on X

Here are five tools to help you in uncovering and clarifying the direction and passion of your life, right now, this year.

1. PowerSheets

Lara Casey has created a workbook that is packed with meaningful questions for the reader to ask herself about her dreams, her goals, and her why behind everything she does. While PowerSheets includes goal-setting priorities and visually engaging ways to see your progress toward those goals, where it really shines is as a tool to help readers clarify their life purpose and direction. Lara is the author of the bestselling Make it Happen book, and PowerSheets pairs well with that text. I found this resource to be deeply meaningful in unearthing my own desires and dreams for the coming year, and I think you will, too.

2. StrengthsFinder

In the midst of hundreds of personality tests, StrengthsFinder differs in that it focuses exclusively on the reader’s top strengths — places of ability, insight, and influence that the individual already carries in herself. The StrengthsFinder bookcomes with a code for an online test that readers can take; out of 32 strengths, the quiz will clarify the top five.

StrengthsFinder is often used in businesses and organizations to help create a sense of understanding between team members, and my husband and I have found it to be deeply helpful in clarifying our strengths as individuals and in our marriage. When we understand our tendencies and gifts through the lens of strength — and how those strengths can encourage those around us — we can better see our purpose and direction in a given season of life.

Read about the other three resources here, at Darling Magazine!

Spending Time with Him to Be Like Him

Deeply Rooted Resolution[Image by Kelly Kee]

This is the start of my most recent article for Deeply Rooted Magazine.
Read the full article here!

I’m not the type of person who is usually motivated by goals, and New Year’s resolutions tend to fall under this category for me. But there is one type of resolution I made nearly a decade a ago that has utterly transformed my life. 

I aim to spend time with Jesus every single day.

Of course, there are days when life gets a little too wild and I don’t manage to set time aside for the Lord, but by and large, I spend time with him every day of the week, every week of the year. I don’t say this because I’m fantastic; I say this because I’m a broken and sinful person, desperately in need of the healing and love of Christ every single day. It’s spiritual life and death for me; spending time with Jesus is the only thing that keeps me hopeful, kind, and loving—because he is hopeful, kind, and loving. When I spend time with him, I become more like him, and that is what I need most of all.

Read the rest of the article here, at Deeply Rooted!

Why I Use CoSchedule (and love it!)

coschedule logo

In checking through my files, I realized that I’m coming up on my first anniversary of using CoSchedule–a marketing calendar–and I wanted to share a little bit with you about why I love it so much and how I use it. If you haven’t heard of CoSchedule, I’ll let them speak for themselves about who they are and what they do:

“CoSchedule is an easy drag-and-drop content marketing calendar that allows you to plan, create, and promote your content all in one place. It saves you time and helps you grow your audience through smart marketing plans and efficient team collaboration.”

I echo their sentiments wholeheartedly–this is exactly what it’s done for me! Using CoSchedule has saved me time, helped me grow my audience, and has helped me run a smarter marketing plan. If you know me, you know that I juggle a lot of responsibilities (is there anyone who doesn’t?)–wife, mom, writer, author, teacher, blogger–and time is valuable. CoSchedule allows me to publish content in one place (my blog) and then schedule posts and tweets from that blog when I tell it to do so. I can schedule multiple social media platform posts at one time, from one place.

Game changer.

Here’s a little insight into how CoSchedule works. I run this blog on a WordPress theme, and CoSchedule integrates seamlessly with WordPress. So, once you sign up for CoSchedule and install it into your blog, every time you write a post, the calendar will show up beneath the post, enabling you to schedule social media posts from that blog at the same time as you write the post. You can schedule those social media engagements for hours, days, and even months out from the original post. Then, after a post is written, you can check back into the calendar to see where it has been shared and how often. [This is a screenshot provided by CoSchedule, not from my website, FYI.]

CoSchedule-WordPressEditPost

You also have the ability to see your marketing calendar in month-at-a-glance views, so you can see what is scheduled and when from a bird’s-eye perspective. One thing I love is that I can move posts, tweets, and engagements around on this level so that my month is spaced out the way I want it to be–instead of ten posts on one day and none on the other, I can move things around so that my posts are regular.

CoSchedule-WordPressCalendar

Because I only aim for about one blog post a week, I use CoSchedule to help me plan out my weeks (and months) of marketing and social media engagements when I write the post, knowing that I won’t have to worry about making sure I post more tweets or create another Facebook post during the rest of the week–CoSchedule has me covered.

For writers, bloggers, and anyone who wants to strengthen their presence online–and for those who love to write but hate the marketing side of things, CoSchedule is a wonderful option–I think less about marketing and get to focus more on my words and my mission. 

Let me know if you use CoSchedule or if you’re interested in using it! I highly recommend it!

This post was written as part of CoSchedule’s Referral and Review Program, and the links included in this post are affiliate links. All opinions and words, other than the ones quoted, are my own.