Walking Dust: An Ash Wednesday Reflection

As people of faith, Ash Wednesday is  a day that marks us—figuratively and, in some traditions, literally—for a period of weeks that is meant to change us. Lent seeks to hush our ravenous appetite for ease and excess and, instead, remind us that the way of Christ is neither of those things. The way of Christ is the way down—down from heaven, down to the dust of the earth and the pain of a cross. It is the way of truth.

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Psalm 103 has long been a favorite of mine; I love the way that the heart of David is uncovered as he declares what he knows to be true of God. Here, David is preaching to his own soul that God is the one who “forgives all of your sins” and “redeems your life from the pit.” David goes on to offer the dizzying image of God as the one who hurtles our sin as far away from us as the east is from the west. And he remembers that God’s love is with those “who fear him”—from “everlasting to everlasting.” This is the Psalm that I read when I need to be reminded of God’s character, for this chapter reminds me of his compassion, his kindness, and his mercy.

Lodged in the middle of one of these mighty declarations, however, is a reminder to the reader of our real state, in verses 13-16.

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; 
for he knows how we are formed,
 
he remembers that we are dust. 
The life of mortals is like grass,
 
they flourish like a flower of the field; 
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
 
and its place remembers it no more.

This verse elicits two responses in me. First, I see the kindness that the Lord has for us: he who is eternal cares for those who are finite. My life is a scratch on the husk of this earth, and yet he has compassion on me. How kind, how good, how loving is this God? But secondly, I am forced to come to terms with the reality that although I am flourishing now, there is a day soon in its coming when I will no longer be here. My body will give out; my skull will become a shell. As it is written in the Book of Common Prayer, one day my body will be “commit[ted] to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”

And here is the importance of Ash Wednesday. Whether or not you participate in a church service, you may see men and women walking around today with sooty crosses on their foreheads. Take a second look at the ones you see with these crosses smudged on their faces; that soot is a visceral reminder of our real state.

We are walking dust.

We are walking dust. Share on X

Infused with the breath of life, yes. For now. And although I cling to the hope of Easter each day of my life, believing wholeheartedly that the death of my flesh is not the death of me, I still will face death. As will you. In order to tell the truth, this is where we must start on this Lenten journey. Death comes to all of us. And yet, as David writes in Psalm 103, God still cares for us. He still loves us, has compassion on us, and has made the way for us to be free from all sin so that we do not have to fear this death. This is the hope we are inching toward during Lent, even as we come to terms with our own mortality.

When You’re Too Busy to Connect With God

My newest article is up over at RELEVANT Magazine, and I’d love for you to check it out!

WHEN YOU'RE TOO BUSY.Swindell

Here’s the start of the article:

Busy. It’s a word many of us use most of the time—we’re too busy, so busy, very busy, or just plain busy. We’ve got work to do, children to raise, meetings to get to, appointments to keep, friends to connect with, spouses to love.

So how do we stay connected to God even when our lives swirl around us at a rapid pace? How do we keep Him central in our hearts and minds while we live our very busy lives? Here are a few ideas for staying close to Jesus even when life gets crazy:

Start with Scripture.

My goal is to read the Bible every day—early in the day—so that everything else I do is seen through the Biblical lens of reality. Reading the Bible is one thing that keeps me grounded in truth and connected to God. I have found, for me, that when I start my day in the Bible, my heart and mind are better prepared to respond to God’s presence throughout the rest of the day—and I usually find that I am kinder in my responses to other people and more gracious with myself.

When I start my day in the Bible, my heart and mind are better prepared to respond to God's presence throughout the day Share on X

And yet, even though I know how important it is for me to read the Word in order to stay close to God, it is surprising to me that something so simple can be so difficult to do on a consistent basis. So get creative if you need to. Do you commute to work? If you’re driving, listen to the Bible on audio. If you’re sitting on a train or on a subway, read the Bible on your phone or carry a pocket version of the Bible with you.

Listen to Truth.

There are a lot of voices swirling around us every day—voices that tell us we aren’t good enough, that we have to find love for ourselves, and that we need to be more attractive and make more money. If I listen to those voices too long, I get sucked into those lies. So I seek to fill my head with music and words that keep me focused on God throughout the day.

If you’re reading this, there’s a high chance that you have access to an incredible amount of Christ-centered media options. Podcasts that point me back to Jesus in the midst of a crazy world, music that focuses my attention on Him and sermons that keep my mind grounded in truth—these are the types of things I try to fill gaps of free time with. They help me remember that in Christ, I am loved and that I have all that I need—things I constantly need to hear.

Read about praying throughout the day, pausing when you’re overwhelmed, and Christ-centered friendships over at RELEVANT!

Love, Actually: Why Love is So Much More than Valentine’s Day

Even before you read the article, know this: God loves you and Christ died for you! “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

My most recent article is up over at Darling Magazine, and it’s a piece I’ve written about two of life’s most important things: love and gratitude. 

The impending Valentine’s Day can usher in a wealth of emotions: longing, excitement, hurt, confusion, sorrow, hope — or some combination of all of these. For some of us, the holiday offers new opportunities to showcase affection toward our significant other; for others, it is a reminder that we don’t have an other to lavish affection upon.

Darling.Love Actually
But although love is what Valentine’s Day announces from candy store windows and card aisles, what the holiday has come to represent is a narrow understanding of the sentiment.

Love
. It’s such a small word for such a large thing.
One day could never do it justice because love, in its many forms, isn’t necessarily best seen between two lovers. Don’t get me wrong; I’m deeply in love with my husband and have been for a decade. Romantic love is something I cherish and am grateful for, but my life would be much less whole if this was the only love that I experienced. Love manifests in so many different ways, ways too numerous to count.

Love: the parent who calms the crying child in the night.
Love: the friend who brings the ice cream and sits with you in the tears.
Love: the boyfriend who speaks highly of you when you’re not around.
Love: the co-worker who picks up your slack on a project you’re too exhausted to finish.
Love: the barista who overlooks your demanding voice because she knows you’re tired.
Love: the spouse who chooses you over and over and over.
Love: the boss who praises you in front of others.
Love: the friend who texts just to make sure you’re ok.
Love: the child who wants to sit on your lap to read just one more book.
Love: the roommate who does the dishes. Again.
Love: the stranger who offers you a kind word on a difficult day.

While one day will never encompass the many sides of love, a day centered on love can — if we allow it to — be so much more than the exchange of gifts and candy, so much more than a nice dinner or a piece of jewelry. It can be a day that points us to a deeper reflection of all of the facets of love that we have in our lives. It can be a day, ultimately, for thankfulness.
Please read the rest of the article here, at Darling Magazine–and let me know what kinds of love you are grateful for in your life! (image from Mikaela Hamilton via Darling Magazine)

Valentines Loved

 

 

 

Secure and Steadfast: Learning to Trust

SECURE and STEADFAST-LEARNING TO TRUST

Some of you may already know, but it’s not something I’ve shared in this space yet: we are moving this summer, to a new city and a new adventure. My husband will be in graduate school for the next three-ish years, and we will be closer to family as he studies and works on finishing his degree.

There are so many things I’m excited about in this transition–a new city to explore, new relationships to form, being next door to my sister, opportunities to grow. Most of all, I’m excited to follow the Lord, as this is the next door he has opened for us in this great journey of walking with Him.

But I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t nervous, too. I’ve lived in Chicagoland for all of my adult life; Michael and I have been in this same city for over a decade. We have a rich community of friends and a church that we love. We have jobs. None of these things that have been so central and grounding for us in this town will be present when we move this summer.

And so it feels like starting all over again–and, in many ways, it is. As a recovering control-freak, all of the details of moving–selling the house, looking for jobs, finding a new home, making new friendships–these have the ability to freak. me. out. If I spend too much time thinking about those things, I start spiraling into a mental place of worry, fear, and doubt. I imagine all of the things that could go wrong and all of the ways that this move might not go well.

But God is continually calling me back to one thing: trusting Him. I mentioned it on my Instagram account earlier this month, but my word for the year is TRUST. I always need to trust Jesus, but this year in particular, when all of the cards of our life are up in the air, I feel the need to trust God in a deeper way, perhaps in a way I haven’t felt the need to trust him before. I need to trust him, deeply and wholeheartedly, with our family’s finances, our family’s friendships, and our family’s future. Because I have no idea how any of those things will get worked out in the next six months.

And yet, hasn’t this always been the case? Of course it has; it’s just that the trusting hasn’t felt as desperate in the past. I have always needed to trust God to give me even my daily bread, but I don’t always think that way. In truth, I have nothing apart from him and I am nothing apart from him. But when life starts rolling along, that desperation of needing to rely on Jesus tends to fade for me.

So here I stand, at the start of a year that will look nothing like it does at the end of it. In twelve months, nearly everything externally will have changed. But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever, and I am aware of my deep need to trust in him afresh. Trusting is difficult at times; I don’t always feel a deep sense of security or safety. But trusting God does not always mean that we feel secure or steadfast–it means that He is secure and steadfast, regardless of our feelings.

Trusting God does not mean that we feel secure or steadfast--it means that He is secure and steadfast, regardless of our feelings. Share on X

He is constant in his kindness, his salvation, and his love. He is a good Father who gives good gifts to his children. I can rely on who He is even when I’m not sure where I’m going–practically or emotionally. And so this year, I am choosing to trust him, again and again. He is good, and his love endures forever.

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

I can count on Him to lead us and care for us. You can, too. Here’s to a year of wholehearted, un-hindered trust in Jesus–the One who is completely trustworthy.

The Wonder-filled Power of Words: Thoughts on Teaching, Writing, and Words

I spend two days every week teaching college students about creative writing. I don’t teach them how to write; that is a simple but complex art form that most of us work out over the course of a lifetime. Rather, we spend most of our hours together discussing works of literature, practicing techniques, and experimenting with various stylistic choices. Through reading, we seek to understand what other writers have done well. Through writing, we seek to discover our own voice and ability as we try new things and push the boundaries of what we are used to doing with language.

I love my job. LOVE. MY. JOB.

Yesterday, I left the classroom on a professional and spiritual high. Because yesterday, we were talking about something I’m ridiculously passionate about—the power of words. Oh, the surprising power of words. Words shape us. They shape how we see ourselves; they shape how we see God. Long after a conversation or interaction, the words we hear from others can sting and wound, or they can bind up and heal. Words reveal our hearts—they point to what’s really there, and they often bubble up from places in our souls deeper than we understand.

In class yesterday, we talked about the fact that God spoke the universe into existence with a word. We read the first five verses of the book of John and were reminded of that beautiful and timeless declaration that Jesus is, himself, the Word—and that who God is and how he is are bound up in the power of words.

Power of Words.1

How amazing, then–how surprising and wonder-filled–that we should share in this mighty power of words. How incredible–how difficult to believe–that God would entrust us with words. We are privileged and charged with using these tiny instruments for good. For peace. For encouragement. For hope. For glory–His and not our own.

I have my students read Walter Wangerin’s An Ethic for Aesthetics, a beautiful consideration of how one author has covenanted with God and his community regarding the ways that he will use his words. And we talk about using words with intention and wisdom, with power and with grace. And we talk about how hard it is to do these things well, and how necessary it is to have empathy for others if we are going to write about them, and how necessary it is to have grace for ourselves if we are going to write about ourselves.

Words shape who we are, and they shape who we become. At the beginning of time, God used words to shape all of creation into its beautiful, spinning presence. And at the end of all days, the Word himself will return and right all things that have gone wrong. I ache for that day. I long for it. And until that great return of the Word turned flesh turned Lamb turned King, I will seek to use my words to point to him.

At the end of all days, the Word himself will return and right all things that have gone wrong. Share on X

These unassuming marks on screens and pages, these syllables that bounce out of our mouths and bubble up from our hearts, they matter. So deeply. Let us be those who use them to right the wrongs that we can, to love the hearts that need binding up, and to speak to ourselves–and to others–the Truth that came through the Word made flesh.

The Gift of Celebration, The Gift of Friendship

Celebrate well

I’m a celebrator by nature. I love throwing parties, surprising people, and making up excuses to celebrate the people I love. I love being the one to gather friends together to show them why they are worthy of encouragement, attention, and time. Celebrating is a love language for me.

But my birthday falls in January, which, I’ve found, is not a great time to have a birthday if you like celebrating. For most of us, January is recovery month. We’re tired, we’ve used all our vacation time, we’ve made New Year’s resolutions that forbid us from eating sugar or carbs, we’re sick of seeing people, and we just spent a lot of money at Christmas. We’re tired of celebrating once January rolls around. We want to hibernate. We want to hole away.

Therein lies my problem; birthdays are special to me.

But then, last year, a friend asked me how I would feel most loved for my birthday. She wanted to celebrate me, she said. Even in her asking, I felt loved. And I told her the truth: I wanted to be with my closest friends, and I wanted to share a meal together. No gifts, no songs—just time gathered around the table.

And that is what happened, in the cold and dreary month of January. Ten of us shared a meal. We paid for babysitters so that our conversation could go deep; that in and of itself was a precious gift of time and money. Each friend surprised me by sharing an encouragement for my coming year of life. They told me how they saw Jesus at work in me, and they prayed for me. I sat there and felt deeply celebrated, and deeply welcomed into the new year of my life by the friends I loved the most. In my memory, it remains a holy and beautiful night.

To me, I have come to realize how that night encapsulates what is meant to be at the center of every gathering; in fact, what is meant to be at the heart of friendship. For true friendship is a kind of gathering. It is pulling people together around a shared table or on a soft couch, and it will cost us in time and even in money. True friendship means giving those things that my friends offered to me on my birthday night—time, encouragement, intentionality, welcome, love. And true friendship is celebration; it is seeing what is worthy of encouragement in those we love and declaring those things over them. It is seeing the presence of Jesus in the other and acknowledging his beauty through them.

Birthdays only happen once every twelve months, but gathering to celebrate those we love—to speak truth and hope and encouragement to them and over them—that can happen any time of the year. We can gather in coffee shops and pray for one another. We can gather on playgrounds and encourage one another. We can gather around kitchen tables and welcome one another. We can gather in restaurants and celebrate one another. And we can gather, always, and love one another—no matter where, no matter when. 

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