Motherhood

How Do I Decide What to Watch? Three Questions to Ask as a Christian

May 13, 2021 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest article for Risen Motherhood.

After getting the kids to bed, it’s not uncommon for my husband and I to look at each other and ask: “Is there anything we want to watch?”

During a year when most of us have been at home more than ever before—and our opportunities for other activities have shrunk down to nothing—it’s been an easy choice to turn to the screen.

But how do we choose what to watch? What we let into our hearts through our eyes matters. Some believers will say they have freedom to watch whatever they want; some will say they can’t watch anything. The reality is that all of us must prayerfully determine our own convictions about what we can watch, read, and listen to, and then seek to graciously interact with others when our convictions differ from theirs.

If we want to live rightly before the Lord with our media choices, it will not happen passively. We must move forward with intention and honesty—and with knowledge about what pleases the Lord.

With that in mind, here are three questions to consider when approaching media:

1. Is this something that gratifies my flesh, or is it something that edifies my spirit?

The Scripture is clear: we cannot please the Spirit of God while at the same time indulging our sinful flesh. It’s one or the other: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do” (Gal. 5:16–17).

This is why we can’t determine what to watch or read by how we feel.[2] What we can do, instead, is turn to Scripture to help us determine whether what we want to watch, read, or listen to is going to feed our flesh or our spirit. Galatians 5:19–23 is a helpful list to use when we think about what to watch. Paul gives examples of “the works of the flesh” such as sexual immorality and idolatry and contrasts those with “the fruit of the Spirit,” such as love, joy, and peace. Considering what we’re going to watch, listen to, or read against this biblical list can help us assess the impact of media on our hearts and minds.

But while we’re called to avoid media that will indulge our flesh, we can also rightfully enjoy media that helps us think about “whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, [and] whatever is admirable” (Phil. 4:8). When media is created with excellence and truth, it has the opportunity to reflect the beauty of God—and help us worship him!

Here’s a litmus test I often use when approaching media: Would I feel comfortable watching this movie if Jesus was sitting next to me, in the flesh? If not, then this may be something that is praising sin and worldliness, and I need to reconsider.

Read the rest of the article here, at Risen Motherhood!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Marriage, Motherhood Tagged With: clean shows on tv, clean shows to watch as a Christian, purity in media, Risen Motherhood, Scriptures about watching tv, standards for Christians, watching movies as a Christian, watching television as a Christian, watching tv as a Christian, what do I watch tonight, what's good to watch on TV as a Christian

Stretched Too Thin: Serving Christ When Everyone Needs You

April 8, 2021 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest piece for The Gospel Coalition. You can read the whole piece here.

I stood in front of the kitchen window with tears threatening, breathing a quick prayer for peace and help.

It was a normal day at home, and my kids weren’t being particularly difficult—they were just being kids. But as I unloaded the dishwasher, I mentally ticked through what to make for dinner, the editing project hanging over my head, my daughter’s school project, the taxes that needed to be filed, and the friend who needed a listening ear—and I pressed my palm to my eyes to stop the tears. I had started to feel resentful about all of the responsibilities I carried, although I couldn’t pinpoint why.

My first thought was to chastise myself. What is wrong with you? You have a good life, Ann.

It was true: nothing big was wrong. But a hundred smaller things were difficult in the midst of quarantine. My work was intact, but finding reliable childcare was nearly impossible. My ministry to others as a pastor’s wife was needed but often done from a distance. And because of school closures, we’d decided to homeschool.

I felt like I was serving in a hundred ways but missing out on many of the gifts of relationship and normal life that helped make that service joyful and rewarding. It all felt like too much, and those tears at the kitchen window revealed both my frustration and exhaustion.

My circumstances and responsibilities wouldn’t change anytime soon. But my heart could change, and it needed to.

Here’s how the Lord has used this season of life to point my heart toward serving Christ alone.

1. Remember that Christ is the primary person we serve—and he will reward us.

No matter what we are doing, Scripture calls us to remember—and rejoice in—the truth that all of our work and service is ultimately for Christ. The apostle Paul knew this and referred to himself as a servant of the Lord throughout Scripture, understanding that he was called to serve, follow, and obey Christ above all others (e.g., Phil. 1:1; 1 Cor. 3:5; 2 Pet. 1:1).

Read the rest of the article here, at The Gospel Coalition!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Marriage, Ministry, Motherhood, Parenting, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christian moms in quarantine, how do I handle quarantine, how do I handle the pandemic, how do I pray when I'm overwhelmed, how do I serve Christ when I'm tired, motherhood, overwhelmed, pandemic, quarantine

When Motherhood Feels Boring

January 13, 2021 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest piece for The Gospel Coalition. You can read the entire article here!

I mentally ticked down the clock until bedtime: nine hours to go. It was only 11 a.m. Already I was fighting ennui—not because I don’t love my children but because the day stretched ahead of me with the same activities I’d been doing for days before and would be doing for days afterward.

I am deeply grateful to be a mother. But if I’m honest, sometimes the work feels . . . boring.

Particularly this year, many of us have been with our children, and only our children, for most waking hours. Days and weeks stretch ahead and behind in blurry sameness. Much of our work as mothers—whether we’re at home full-time or not—requires repeated tasks. Washing bodies and clothes and dishes, preparing meals and snacks and drinks, driving the same routes to grocery stores and pharmacies and school and church, over and over again.

But in this season of mothering, I’ve taken great encouragement from the ways God’s Word helps to reframe what often feels, to me, like boredom.

Sameness ≠ Monotony

From a biblical perspective, sameness does not equal monotony. The Word declares that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8), and that every gift we have been given is from the Father “with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). God is, wonderfully, always the same. He does not change his mind about us. He is consistent in his character and unshakeable in his glory. His law remains, and his truth will endure for all time.

Read the rest of the article over at The Gospel Coalition!

Filed Under: God, Guest Post, Motherhood Tagged With: Ann Swindell, boring motherhood, guest writing, motherhood feels boring, struggling as a Christian mom, struggling as a mom, The Gospel Coalition, what do I do when motherhood is boring

Finding Peace at Christmas

December 23, 2020 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest piece for Risen Motherhood. You can read the entire article here!

Too often, the Christmas season starts to feel like an overwhelming amount of work for moms. For many of us, there are decorations to put up, presents to purchase or make, school activities to help with, meals to prepare, travel arrangements to plan, and—in the midst of it all—Advent to (hopefully) attend to.

But what if instead of working to make Christmas “happen” for ourselves and our families this year—what if we played? What if we took our own kind of break and set down the culture-induced pressure to strive for a perfect Christmas? Then, we could focus on the true play of Christmastime: delighting in and celebrating the gift that has already been given to us in the form of the Christ child who came as a baby.

As mothers, we have the choice this season to take a break from the world’s expectations and focus on playing during Advent, rather than working. That’s not to say that there won’t be work involved this year—no matter the season, motherhood is full of good and holy work. But there are ways that we can attend to the season of Advent with an attitude of playfulness and rest that has the opportunity to encourage our souls.

This Christmas, let’s seek to enable our souls to benefit from play in the truest sense: the intentional enjoyment of God and his good gifts. Why? Here are three reasons…

Read the rest of the article here, at Risen Motherhood!

Filed Under: God, Life, Marriage, Motherhood Tagged With: Christmas, Christmas break for mom, Christmas for moms, mom stressed at Christmas, motherhood and Christmas, peace for mom

The Lens of Love: Writing and Rewriting Our Stories

July 17, 2020 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest piece for Grit & Virtue. You can read the full article here–it’s one of my favorites that I’ve written!

My husband was at home with the baby and I was at the library when I experienced my first – and only – panic attack. It was Fall; the air outside was just beginning to thin and tumble, threading its way through newly-bare branches and alleyways. I remember that it was dark, painfully dark at 6 pm. I was tired.

I sat at one of the large tables in the reference section, my notes and books spread around me in a cluttered half-circle. I work best with large amounts of space and quiet, something nearly impossible to come by with a new baby. It was a gift to slip away to the quiet of the stacks and write the book I was working on; it was something I had missed, acutely, for months.

I don’t remember feeling particularly stressed or anxious, but I do remember the pattering in my chest that started like a whisper and progressed to cymbals. I couldn’t focus and had to turn off the computer. My breathing became narrow and superficial; I felt like I was falling down even as I straightened in my chair. The room started hovering like hummingbird wings, and I had to close my eyes and lay my cheek on the cool of the table. I wondered if I was having a heart attack or a stroke and if maybe this was how I would die, here in the quiet of the library.

[Spoiler alert–I’m still here! 🙂 You can read the rest of this piece at Grit & Virtue!]

Filed Under: About, God, Guest Post, Life, Motherhood, Writing Tagged With: am I called to write, am writing, author, Christianity, God's faithfulness, Grit & Virtue, how do I write my story, Writing, writing for Christ's glory, writing my story

Messy Homes and Open Hearts: An Article For Deeply Rooted

September 11, 2018 by Ann Leave a Comment

We were new to the area, and I was getting desperate for some friends. After the proverbial dust had settled from our move back to my hometown, I found myself more displaced than I expected to be. Sure, I hadn’t lived here in over 15 years, but it was my hometown. Why did it feel so hard to connect with other women? Why did settling in feel suddenly foreign?

Well, for one thing, I had changed—I was returning to my hometown now as a wife and a mom, and the unspoken rules for friendships had drastically shifted. In high school, friendship had been based off of mutual passions and pastimes (mine had been volleyball and poetry). We had weekends and weeknights to spend together, studying and laughing and driving around our mid-size town until we made it to Steak N Shake.

But here in these early years of motherhood, friendship was much more opaque. There might be other women in town who loved writing, but where would I find them? There might be other moms who loved to discuss books and theology, but how would I discover them? No, friendship in these years, I knew, was probably going to stem from being in similar stages of life. I needed some other moms who were on the same steep learning curve of figuring out how to care for the little ones at our feet.

But I needed someone to let me in. Although I was back in my own town, I was the new girl, and for the first time in years I felt unsure about how to start friendships.

Read the rest of the article over at the Deeply Rooted blog!