This is the start of my newest piece for The Gospel Coalition. You can read the whole piece here.
I stood in front of the kitchen window with tears threatening, breathing a quick prayer for peace and help.
It was a normal day at home, and my kids weren’t being particularly difficult—they were just being kids. But as I unloaded the dishwasher, I mentally ticked through what to make for dinner, the editing project hanging over my head, my daughter’s school project, the taxes that needed to be filed, and the friend who needed a listening ear—and I pressed my palm to my eyes to stop the tears. I had started to feel resentful about all of the responsibilities I carried, although I couldn’t pinpoint why.
My first thought was to chastise myself. What is wrong with you? You have a good life, Ann.
It was true: nothing big was wrong. But a hundred smaller things were difficult in the midst of quarantine. My work was intact, but finding reliable childcare was nearly impossible. My ministry to others as a pastor’s wife was needed but often done from a distance. And because of school closures, we’d decided to homeschool.
I felt like I was serving in a hundred ways but missing out on many of the gifts of relationship and normal life that helped make that service joyful and rewarding. It all felt like too much, and those tears at the kitchen window revealed both my frustration and exhaustion.
My circumstances and responsibilities wouldn’t change anytime soon. But my heart could change, and it needed to.
Here’s how the Lord has used this season of life to point my heart toward serving Christ alone.
1. Remember that Christ is the primary person we serve—and he will reward us.
No matter what we are doing, Scripture calls us to remember—and rejoice in—the truth that all of our work and service is ultimately for Christ. The apostle Paul knew this and referred to himself as a servant of the Lord throughout Scripture, understanding that he was called to serve, follow, and obey Christ above all others (e.g., Phil. 1:1; 1 Cor. 3:5; 2 Pet. 1:1).
Read the rest of the article here, at The Gospel Coalition!