God – Page 19

Seeing Burdens as Blessings

March 26, 2014 by Ann 1 Comment

In a season in which I am busy—and tired—it is easy to look at my life and see burdens. It is easy to feel annoyed by things that cost me in time and energy. This Lent, I am trying to see things from a different perspective.

That pile of laundry that is sitting wrinkled and wet in the washer? It’s not a burden. I have clothes. I have a washing machine. That is a pile of blessings.

The messes my young daughter makes as she eats? Those aren’t burdens. I have a daughter. She is learning how to eat and swallow and feed herself. Those abilities are blessings.

The water pump that broke in my car last week and cost a wad of cash to fix? It’s not a burden. I have a car to drive. We had the money in savings to pay for a new pump. That car is a blessing.

The hours of work I will spend grading papers in any given week, rounding my shoulders over stacks of essays? That’s not a burden. I have a job. I get to think about words and give feedback to students who love to write. That work is a blessing.

The nights that my husband is at work and doesn’t make it home until Ella and I are both asleep? Those nights aren’t a burden. I have a husband. He spends his nights loving and serving the people in our church. I get to be his partner in ministry. That is a blessing.

During this season of Lent, I want new eyes to see my life for what it really is—a blessing. A gift. I woke up today with air flowing through me like a river. I am living. What do I have that I have not been given (1 Cor. 4:7)?

Lord, help me to live my life with a heart that sees blessings rather than burdens.

Are you like me? Where do you need new eyes to see the burdens in your life as blessings?

Filed Under: God, Ministry, Truth-Telling

The Lie of Feeling “Behind” in Life

March 24, 2014 by Ann 14 Comments

Michael and I are in a season that has required a lot of energy—both physical and emotional—from both of us. We are still getting this first year of parenting under our belts, and Ella has had three ear infections in three months (read: lots of interrupted sleep). Between our jobs, our parenting, our commitments to church, and our marriage, our proverbial plates are full. We love all that we do, and it’s more than some people do and much less than others. Either way, let’s just say that for us, life feels more than a bit stretched.

My tendency in seasons like this is to feel overwhelmed most of the time and carry that emotion as a burden. I fight anxiety or the nagging feeling of constantly being “behind.” This is an area of my life that I am seeking to surrender to God. It is a continual journey for me to say yes to God and declare that my feelings do not determine the truth. The truth is what God says, and he tells me that I am securely held in his hands.

I am not “behind” in life if I am in step with Christ. Next to him—with him—is the exact place I’m supposed to be. If his pace with me is slower than it is with my best friend or my colleague, it is not my responsibility to try to catch up to them. In doing so, I would leave Jesus behind. Similarly, if his pace with me is faster than it is with my friend or my neighbor and if I slow down rather than pressing ahead with him, I leave Jesus behind.

I am not “behind” in life if I am in step with Christ. Share on X

Now—truly—Jesus never leaves or forsakes us. I know that I can’t really leave Jesus behind. The one who “fills all in all” (Eph. 1:23) cannot be left behind. But I can move out of the place of peace he offers to me when I am constantly comparing myself to others or considering how my life measures up to theirs. That’s where this feeling of being “behind” comes from, when it comes down to it: comparison. Because if I am only considering my life in light of what Christ is calling me to, I won’t think about being behind—or ahead. My only goal will be staying in step with him.

Some of us feel behind because we’re not married yet, or we don’t have children yet, or we don’t have the career we want yet, or we don’t have the _____ yet. Fill in your own blank. That feeling of being behind can fill us with anxiety, even fear. We are afraid we are missing out on the life that we should have.

My question to you is this—Where is Jesus in your life? Are you ahead of him? Are you desperately looking for a spouse when he hasn’t yet clearly opened that season in your life? Are you imagining your life when you have three kids and the white fence, placing all of your hopes in a future that has not yet materialized? Are you running into opportunities that Jesus hasn’t granted to you? Slow down. Stay in step with him. Don’t run headlong into things that God doesn’t have for you. You will end up moving forward, sure enough, but without Jesus—and that is not really moving forward at all.

Are you behind him, dragging your feet against what you know he’s called you to? Is there some relationship that needs to be mended that you refuse to reconcile? Is there some leap of faith he is calling you to take in your work or your life that you are hesitating on the edge of? Take the leap—run ahead and into Jesus. There is no better place to be.

And if you’re in step with Christ—doing what you’re called to, seeking to grow with him—stay put. Even if those around you are running ahead or slowing their pace, you are exactly where you are meant to be: with Jesus. If, like me, you tend to worry about being “behind” in life, look over and see the one who loves you more than his own life. See Jesus. He has you where he has you because he loves you.

What does it look like for you to stay in step with Jesus in this season?

Filed Under: God, Life, Truth-Telling Tagged With: Christianity, faith, falling behind, family, feeling lost, feeling tired, feeling unsteady, God, God's faithfulness, Jesus, ministry, staying in step with Jesus, tired, walking with Jesus

Lending My Car to a Stranger

March 21, 2014 by Ann Leave a Comment

I’m sent into a near panic when I think I’ve lost my keys.

Don’t even get me started about what happens when I think I’ve lost my phone.

I’m ridiculous.

And therein is another reason why Lent is important for me. This season has the ability to teach me what I have become dependent upon. Because, in truth, I am totally dependent on God, when it comes down to it. But boy, do I feel dependent on a whole lot of other things. Things like keys and phones, for example.

Lent is a season in which the “extras” in life are meant to be stripped away. The excess that so many of us live with is meant to be peeled back, left aside, and shut down for awhile. The purpose is so that we might become a people who realize that we aren’t dependent on these things but that we are truly, actually dependent on God.

Peeling back excess is difficult. Stepping away from the things that cloud my real need for God is hard. It means I can’t be entertained as easily or numb my feelings as quickly.

But this call to step away from my dependence on other things reminds me of when God nudged me, several years back, to lend my car to a stranger and just hand him my keys. It felt risky. It felt crazy. By God’s grace, I did it anyway. And that one experience of stepping away from my dependence on my car created within me a fuller realization of my true dependence on God. It is something I am still learning.

You can read the story here. I hope that as we continue together in this season of Lent, it encourages you.

What are you dependent on in this season of life that God might be asking you to let go of?

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Filed Under: God, Truth-Telling

The Best Day of My Life Was Not My Wedding Day

March 20, 2014 by Ann 10 Comments

I recently had a former student email me some questions she had. She was wrestling through things in that email, big questions about life and living as a woman in our culture, and something she wrote struck me like a bell. She said that our culture points to the belief that a woman’s wedding day–the day those vows are made at the altar–is the best day of your life.

She is single. She is wondering if she will have that day. But you know what she wrote me, what floored and humbled me?

She wrote that she is choosing to believe that the day she vowed her life to Jesus was the best day of her life.

Yes, I say in response. Yes and yes and yes again. And so, here is my response to her:

Yes, the day you gave your life to Jesus was the best day of your life. It always will be.

But first, you must come to terms with the fact that you have not had a wedding day. That day you long for–it was not that. You did not walk down any aisle draped in layers of white, and you did not have a hundred guests watching you pace in time with beautiful music. You did not lock your eyes with a man who had won your heart for months and years, with a man who had paid for a diamond that sparkled like fire on your hand.

You did not stand in front of a priest or a pastor and promise all faithfulness unto death, for richer or poorer, for better and worse.

The best day of your life was not your wedding day. This day is even better. Share on X

You did not have a reception afterwards where you toasted and cut cake and danced and laughed and hugged.

You have not had any of that. I can offer no promises to you that you will have any of that before you die.

But here is what you have had, sister and friend. On that day when you gave your life to Jesus, whether you were four or fourteen or twenty-four: here is what did happen.

You walked down the aisle of your life covered, like me, in the rags of brokenness and shame. Thousands upon thousands of angels looked on and celebrated–God himself, in fact, celebrated your steps toward himself. You looked at the Man waiting for you there–the One who had been wooing you and had finally won your heart over months and years, the man who paid for your life not in diamonds but with his own blood.

You stood in front of him, both High Priest and Shepherd, and accepted him. And then he made promises to you–promises of faithfulness unto death, promises of giving you true riches, promises of never leaving or forsaking you.

And you left that moment clothed in his righteousness that covered–removed–all of those rags you had come to him with. You left as one washed clean and made pure.

The Great Reception is coming–a party that will surpass all others. There, you will share a cup with Him and there will be music and laughter and hugging so rich that all eternity will hardly be enough to contain it.

So yes, that day–that day when you gave your life to Jesus was the best day of your life. It was mine, too.

Filed Under: God, Marriage, Truth-Telling Tagged With: best day of my life, bride, Christian marriage, Christianity, faith, groom, Jesus, love, marriage, salvation, wedding

On Being a “Good Wife”

March 19, 2014 by Ann 5 Comments

I have an article up over on Todays Christian Woman this morning, and it deals with the concept of being “good”–and how it’s ok that we’ll never measure up in the ways we want to. There’s freedom in embracing who we are–and in the fact that Christ is all the goodness we need. The start of the article is below:

Here’s the start of the article:

I had been crying regularly for three weeks when Michael gave me the ultimatum.

“Either you quit something or I’m going to quit it for you.” His voice was filled with compassion, but it also carried an edge. “You’re going crazy, Ann, and you’re taking me with you.”

I burst into fresh tears. “I can’t quit anything, Michael! I have to work and I’m not quitting school and you know I’m not going to stop being involved at church! And—and—there are always dishes! I paused for a second before continuing, “We’re only three months into marriage and I’m already failing!”

It had been three months since Michael and I had gotten married. In that timeframe, I had started graduate school as a full time student, was working two jobs, had responsibilities at church, and felt the new and added burden of trying to keep our apartment sparkling and make dinner every night, not to mention trying to learn what it meant to be a wife. I was trying to do it all and was, in my mind, failing—the apartment was a mess, I was too exhausted to cook on most evenings, I was fighting to stay up on my graduate work, and I was constantly stressed.

“Ann, you’re not failing!” His voice softened. “We are not failing.” Michael was concerned. “Where are all of these expectations that you’re putting on yourself coming from? It’s not like I care if everything is perfect in the apartment or if dinner is on the table every night. Who are you comparing yourself to?”

And the lightbulb went on: my mom.

A realization

My mother is one of my best friends. She is bright, beautiful, and has more energy than anyone I know. She is also a spectacular wife, employee, hostess, small group leader, cook, and church member. On top of that, she only needs about five hours of sleep every night to be able to get up and do it all over again.

In that moment, God revealed the expectations that I had unwittingly—and unconsciously—placed on myself. Somewhere, deep down, I went into marriage believing that in order to be a “good wife,” I needed to be my mother. I never spoke the thought, never even realized how much I believed it, but it was coloring our young marriage.

My mother is a fantastic cook, and as a child, Mom had homemade dinners on the table nearly every night, so I assumed I should be able to do the same thing. Mom always got the dishes done after dinner, so I thought I ought to be doing that as well. She worked part-time and was completely capable of opening our home to school and church groups in the evenings, and so I expected the same thing of myself. It wasn’t that my mother or my father or even Michael had required these things of me—they all, in fact, told me to not put so much pressure on myself. But my mother was the model that I grew up with, and I had internally swallowed her wonderful capabilities and took them on as expectations for myself that neither God nor my husband asked of me.

Read the rest of the article here.

Filed Under: God, Marriage, Truth-Telling

Soul Tired, Heart Tired.

March 17, 2014 by Ann 7 Comments

This winter has been long here, much too long. I still and often wonder why my ancestors settled in the plains of Illinois. I love this state for emotional reasons; my family history this side of the Mississippi is winding and lovely; I was married in this state and my daughter was born here just last year. But when it comes to practicality, Illinois lost me years ago. I find myself longing for warmer climes every November. It’s now March, and my feelings haven’t changed.

There are other reasons I am tired, and we all have our reasons, whether they are occasional or chronic. But still, I am weary. I would say bone-tired, but heart-tired is more accurate. My soul feels the same way my body does after a challenging workout the day before–stiff, achy, depleted.

Lent can feel the same way. We are squarely into this liturgical season, now; there’s no more pretending that we are dipping our toes in anymore. We are up to our waist, in the wide of it. And it can start to wear on the soul. If you’ve given up something–a food, a beverage, a habit–now is when the desires for those things can start to yell the loudest. If you’re practicing a new discipline, the sheen of your excitement may have worn off. Whatever it is you are walking through this Lent, it’s still a long way to Easter.

Soul tired. Heart tired.

But this tiredness? It’s good for me.

This tiredness, whether it comes from the calendar season or the church season, reminds me that I am not one who can get by on my own strength. It shows me, haltingly and painfully, that I am wretched at relying on myself–something I try to do much, much too often.

And I found myself, today, with this weariness threatening to discourage me again, remembering words from the book of Isaiah. These words offer a new perspective:

“Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.” [Isaiah 40:28-29]

God is strong.

God does not ever grow weary. He never feels weak or faint.

And rather than keeping all of that strength and refreshment to himself, he gives it to his people. He gives us power, and he gives us strength. He can keep giving and giving and giving because his supply of strength and refreshment is unfailing and unending, just as he is.

The Scripture asks–Have you not known? Have you not heard?

How easily I forget. But my weariness, my tiredness–they are helping me remember. My own weakness points me to the goodness of God. This soul-tiredness, this heart-tiredness–they are pointing me to the One who can refresh my soul in any weather.

I am asking him for his strength today. And because of his Word, I know he will share it with me.

Filed Under: God, Truth-Telling, Uncategorized Tagged With: always tired, Christianity and the soul, how do I get refreshed, Jesus and the soul, my soul is tired, tired soul, weary soul, why is my soul tired