The Timeliness of Fall

I love summer. A Midwesterner my entire life, summer has always been an elusive prize, a questionable gamble between the winters that are always just around the corner. But the freedom to wear sandals and shorts and the opportunity to leave the house without mittens and three layers of clothing is an elusiveness I have always been willing to chase. When the first signs of summer come in April, I am hesitant to embrace the summer fully, knowing the weather will argue with itself for several more weeks. But when May finally comes, I paint my toenails and wear my flip-flops, knowing that there are months ahead of sunshine.

Ann and Michael.FallBy August, I have all but forgotten about the precariousness of summer in the Midwest. It has been warm for three months, and I cannot remember the feel of close-toed shoes. Skirts and sunglasses are my staple; winter coats have been shoved to the back of the closet. And mittens? What are mittens?

But the past several days in my town have brought with them the first signs of fall—rainy afternoons, and even a few leaves that are turning red and yellow. I am starting to remember that winter does exist, and fall is the reminder.

Something happens in my soul every year when summer begins to fade. I start to remember my first days of school, jumping in piles of leaves with my sister, high school homecoming dances, and college football games. I begin to think backwards in time; I take time to remember.

And as I do this, I think of all of the falls and winters and summers and springs that have already taken place. I begin to think of the fading nature of life, and something in me is always surprised at the way that the seasons pass so quickly. I wonder where the summer went—how August is already over and September itself is disappearing. I think about how quickly winter will arrive and I am humbled by the thought of another Thanksgiving, another Christmas, another New Year and another calendar.

I am surprised to find that I am older, and that time affects me, too. I am reminded that my time on this earth is not endless, and that like the leaves on the trees around me, I too, will die. And this is why fall is timely in her arrival. She is a good teacher. Summer feels timeless; fall reminds me of the true nature of time. Her lessons are subtle but true, and I am trying, this year, to heed the education she offers.

The education is this: to know that death is near and not ignore it, but to live brilliantly in the days that are left. Although winter is imminent and sure, although the leaves on the trees will die, the beauty they offer in their fading is one of the most brilliant scenes in nature.

We can know that death is near and not ignore it, but live brilliantly in the days that are left. Share on X

And this is the truth each one of us faces every day; life on this earth is not endless. We will all have a winter to face, and some of us will meet that season sooner than others, sooner than we planned. But we have the opportunity to live our days with brilliance and beauty—and hope. Christ says that he came to give full life—abundant life—to those who walk in relationship with him (John 10:10). Walking in relationship with Jesus gives us the hope of eternal life and the reality of peace and assurance during our life on this earth. In a world that is confused and hurting, our lives with Jesus show the beauty and brilliance of life that is lived with joy, even when there is the constant possibility of death.

I do not know when I will die; none of us do. But fall beckons me to remember that while we will all face physical death, our lives can proclaim the life and truth of Christ—the one who gives us fullness of life on this earth and the next. That is something truly meaningful, and truly brilliant.

How FallPoints us to God (3)

 

Complaining is a Spiritual Problem: An Article for RELEVANT Magazine

I really don’t like cleaning the dishes. I’d rather fold laundry, change a diaper, vacuum—anything. I will gladly do a lot of things before I have to do the dishes. And we even have a dishwasher.

And although I cringe to admit it, I have complained about “having” to clean the dishes to my husband, my sister, my friends—just about anyone who will listen. Typing that out makes me sound like a whiny 3-year-old. Which, if I’m being honest, is true. Sometimes I act like a spiritual 3-year-old. I complain about dishes, I complain about traffic, I complain about the weather. You name it, I’ve probably complained about it in some form or fashion.

Complaining, griping, whining, grousing—whatever you want to call it, it’s a spiritual problem.

The problem is not, actually, the dirty dishes. And the problem is not the backup on I-355 or the snow that wouldn’t budge for six months.

The problem is me. The problem is how I see the world.

The Center of the Universe

Because when I put myself at the center of existence, everything that isn’t tailor-made to my desires becomes something I can complain about. My husband’s pastoring job that keeps him out late several times a week? I see it as a hindrance to my own personal happiness when I have to eat dinner alone or put our daughter to bed without his help.

The fact that our car busted its water pipe and we have to pay hundreds of dollars for a new one? I see it as money that I shouldn’t have to spend. The laundry that I forgot in the washer for two days that now smells awful and needs to be re-washed? I see it as an inconvenience and an annoyance. The fact that I have to spend hours and hours every week grading stacks of papers that my students may barely review? I see it as a thankless part of my teaching job. All because I am setting myself at the center of my life.

Complaining is a spiritual problem. Share on X

How We Respond to Life Matters to God

Now hear me—I’m not talking about dealing with the very real, very sobering, very heart-wrenching realities that millions of people in the world face every day. Horrible things are happening in this country and around the world as I type this, and as Christians, we are called to attend to the hurting and poor and to offer help that is both spiritual and tangible. Those things deserve true grieving and tears and a mighty response of compassion. Complaining about life and seeking justice for genuine wrongs are two different things.

But that’s not what this is about. This is about the daily complaints that I mutter—that many of us mutter—in the regularity of our lives. I’m not trying to make myself or anyone else feel guilty about “first-world problems,” because most of us reading this will never face starvation or genocide. But what we will face is our own lives, and how we respond to our own lives matters to God, because it is the only life we can live.

And so this is where I must turn to the truth of a different reality—one where I’m not the sun that everything else is circling around. The Bible tells me about this different reality, about a King and His Kingdom, and it tells me that I am decidedly not at the center of this world.

1 Corinthians 4:7 asks the question: “What do you have that you did not receive?” And to that question, I must reply: nothing. My husband who works late for his job? Both the man and his job are gifts from God, who has given me a spouse and has provided for our family through that job. The car that needs repairing? That car is a gift from God: it transports us to where we need to go, safely and quickly. The washing machine that holds smelly laundry? That is a gift from God that enables us to wash our clothes easily and effectively. The job that keeps me glued to my desk? That is a gift from God that allows me to use my talents in ways that help others.

Choosing to see the gifts in front of me is the quickest way to stop complaining in my life. Share on X

The Gift

All of it, a gift. And when I see from this perspective, I have no room for complaint. Yes, there are many difficult days in this life we live, but everything we have—even the lemon of a car or the job that keeps us up late—all of these things are gifts from a generous God. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17)

So when the traffic slows or the weather freezes or the dishes pile up, I have a choice. I can see myself at the center of the world and grouse about everything that doesn’t make my life easier. Or I can acknowledge the truth that I am not on any throne, but that the King who is has given me everything I have—even my heart beating in my chest—as a gift.

And so here is what I can offer instead of complaint: thankfulness. Gratefulness. Praise.

Still Waiting by Ann Swindell

Click here  to read this article at RELEVANT, where it was originally published!  

Relevant Complaining is a Spritual Problem

Getting the Royal Room: How the Worst Led to the Best

Sorry for the radio silence over here. Michael and I spent last week on a marriage/counseling retreat (it was SO GOOD), and I really unplugged as much as I could in order to focus on what God was doing in my inner life. It’s amazing, really, to take extended time to consider what’s going on internally and work through it with God and with your spouse. I think I will have more to share about our time there later, but I need to do some more processing with God on my own before I crack that egg open in this space.

Big Ben London

I keep meaning to share one of our unexpected experiences from our time in the United Kingdom. In case you missed it, we spent about two weeks in England and Scotland last month (yes, we took Ella with us!), which was so refreshing for this woman who loves to travel and see the world. We went to Oxford, the Peak District, Edinburgh, and London–in that order. By the time we got to London, we were lagging a bit–two weeks overseas with a baby is a lot. Thankfully, we were staying in a lovely hotel we found last-minute once we learned that our original reserved hotel did not have air-conditioning (it was in the 80s…England is not big on A/C). Like most London hotels, the rooms were small. We didn’t mind–there was room for our bed and a Pack n Play, so we were happy.

But the first night we were there, cigarette smoke started pouring in through the air conditioning vent. Initially, I thought I must have been imagining it. It was a non-smoking hotel, and I’m overly sensitive to smoke, so I thought maybe I was smelling something on my clothes, or it was coming in through a window. But after about half an hour of increased smoke, I called the front desk. They immediately arranged for a room change, and two bellhops helped us carry all of our (now-opened) luggage and a sleeping baby into a new room across the hotel.

Ella didn’t wake up while I carried her through the hotel lobby like a pajama-ed sack of potatoes. Alleluia.

Unfortunately, that new room was right next to the housekeeping closet, and I heard that door slamming  until midnight. Ella kept sleeping, but this mama didn’t.

The next night, I requested–three times–that they not slam the door, or that they put a towel in the door to keep it from slamming, etc. No luck. The door kept slamming, keeping me up past eleven. I may sound like a wimp, but 11 pm for me now feels like 4 am did in college. It’s way past my bedtime. I was exhausted, and sad that our vacation was ending on this note.

We had become friends with one of the receptionists at the hotel, and the next morning I told her about the slamming door. I wanted to see if she could ask if a towel could permanently be put in the door frame, or if her request for quiet would carry more weight than mine.

Instead, she said that she was going to give us the best room in the hotel for that night–our last night in England. It was a room built by a king, literally. They took our luggage upstairs and we opened the door.

london hotel upgrade

And I laughed and laughed and laughed.

The bathroom was bigger than our living room.

london hotel upgrade bathroom

The bedroom was bigger than the main level of our home.

It was ridiculously nice. It was unbelievably big. It was too much. I went back down to the lobby to tell our friend at the desk that we were overwhelmed. She smiled.

And as I walked through our new hotel room, unable to stop laughing, I was reminded of the ridiculousness of God’s extravagance in giving his own Son for us. I felt like he reminded me that his love and his grace are like this–unexpected, undeserved, unbelievably big. Too much for me to take in or understand. And it makes him happy to see me receive his love and grace with laughter and open arms and joy.

We enjoyed that room and we all slept well.  And I know that although that room was originally built by a king, it was the King Himself that gave us such a sweet and undeserved gift that last night in England. It was a gift I’ll never forget, and one I’m truly grateful for.

What Christians Get Wrong About Discipleship: An Article at RELEVANT Magazine

I’m writing over at RELEVANT Magazine today about a topic that stirs my soul: discipleship. Please read the article, join the conversation, and let me know what you think about this issue that is so central to the Christian life! Here’s the start of the article:

To those of us who follow Jesus, discipleship should be a central aspect of our faith. This is because Jesus commanded His followers—in what is commonly referred to as “The Great Commission”—to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:18-20).

It’s not a suggestion that Jesus makes here. It’s a command, a charge.

What is discipleship? Put simply, discipleship means intentionally partnering with another Christian in order to help that person obey Jesus and grow in relationship with Him—so that he or she can then help others do the same. Jesus taught His disciples to follow Him and obey His commands so that they could lead others to do the same after His death, resurrection and ascension. The Apostle Paul continues the pattern with Timothy and encourages him to keep the cycle going: “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2).

But how do we live out this command and actually do what we’ve been called to do? It can help, I think, to look at what we might be getting wrong about discipleship in order to understand how to get it right.

Discipleship Isn’t Easy.

Salvation is free, but discipleship will cost us our lives. Jesus put it bluntly:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” (Luke 9:23-25)

To be a disciple of Jesus means that we have given up our lives in order to follow Him wholeheartedly and unreservedly. It means that our lives are no longer our own—they are His.

Discipleship Isn’t “Just Me and Jesus.”

While discipleship is all about Jesus, it’s not a solitary endeavor. Discipleship is relational, and to fully respond to the Great Commission, we need to be disciples who are making disciples of Jesus. This means we need to spend consistent time with other believers.

Jesus and His disciples spent a lot of time together (Acts 1:21-22). They ate together, walked together, rode in boats together. They even fought together (Luke 9:46-48). The 12 disciples were in one another’s lives, constantly and intentionally.

While we are all called to become disciples of Jesus, we become disciples with one another, learning how to love God and each other as we go. We need to allow others to disciple us by letting them challenge us and encourage us in our walk with God. This is why church and honest relationships with other believers are so central to the Christian life—we need one another in this journey of becoming wholehearted disciples of Jesus.

Read the rest of the article here, at RELEVANT!

 

Relevant Discipleship Image

 

 

 

 

 

Getting The Real Things Done

The Truth About Being a Great Mom (1)

I am one of those people who really enjoys feeling on top of things. My husband can vouch for the fact that I am the most stressed when I feel like I’m “falling behind” in life or when I feel like opportunities are slipping away because I’m running out of time. Part of this is due to my personality and my high “Achiever” strength on StrengthsFinder (any other SF nerds out there? We love it in our household and on our church staff!). Let’s just say this: I love getting things done. I love being productive. I love ticking things off of my to-do list. You now no longer need to wonder why I loved being a student for so many years.

But since Ella joined our family–really, even before that because of how sick I was during pregnancy–my ability to “get things done” has decreased. A lot.

Well, let me clarify. I get a lot of things done every day. I spend time with the Lord. I connect with my husband. I snuggle with my daughter. I feed her. I keep her clean. We play together. We read books and buy groceries together and I talk to her about this world she has joined. Most days I get a workout in, some days I even make dinner. Some days I write. I do a lot.

But in a world of resumes and Instagram and Facebook, I don’t always have a lot to “show” for my days. And for this “achiever,” that can push my buttons. Because when I publish an article, or when I teach a class, or when I show up for a meeting, the outside world knows that I’m doing something.

Smiles together

But here in our home, the only one who sees most of what I do is God. And I am learning to not only accept that, but delight in that. Because although it rubs me the wrong way sometimes that I can’t measure my life anymore by the grades I receive on papers or the scores I get on tests or the things I “do” every day that have external measurements, God is teaching me a different kind of measurement.

Faithfulness. Obedience. Trust.

Am I loving my Savior? Loving my husband? Loving my daughter? Faithfulness.

Am I serving God’s people? Serving my husband? Serving my daughter? Obedience.

Am I giving God my dreams and desires? Choosing to walk in peace? Believing the Word of God? Trust.

These are the markers of my life these days, now more than ever. Yes, I still teach and write and serve in our church. I have external ways that I could judge my own life, but those things will drive me crazy because I will never measure up to those around me. But here, in my own life, I can respond to what God has called me to: Faithfulness. Obedience. Trust.

And while I can’t “achieve” any of these things on my own, as I walk with Jesus daily, he is growing me in these things.

And I am learning about getting the real things done–the eternal things.

Faithfulness. Obedience. Trust. 

Church is for the Whole Family, or Why We Took our 1-year old on a Mission Trip

Family on Mission

A few weeks ago, we were getting back from Tijuana, Mexico and our church’s family mission trip. Those words don’t always go together–“family” and “mission trip.” But our church is committed to ministry that is done with the entire family, which I love and which also makes me feel like we are slightly crazy. Crazy because we had children from six months of age to fourteen on this trip–and between the three Antioch churches that connected together to serve our sister church in Tijuana, there were nearly 100 of us in Tijuana. With lots and lots of small kids running around in a foreign city, in a place where most of us don’t speak the language, there was bound to be some chaos. Some kids got sick, some kids got really tired, some kids got really cranky (let’s be honest: a lot of us adults got really cranky).

And that, I found, is ok. Church is for the whole family, not just those who are old enough to sit quietly or travel well or eat whatever is put in front of them. Being on mission–serving others and sharing the Gospel and intentionally seeking to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a place where you don’t know your way around town–this is not just for people who are old enough to tie their own shoes and talk about faith competently and theologically.

Nope.

Church is for the whole family. Which means that being on mission is for the whole family. Which means that it is worth it to take my one-year old on a trip she will not remember to a nation where we know no one and share the Gospel with people in a language we barely speak. Because we are a family. And I refuse to keep my child out of church and out of doing what the church does until she is “old enough.”

Ella in Mexico

Was it challenging and difficult at times? Yes. Was it fun and exciting and rewarding at times, too? Yes.

I want church and ministry and mission to be so woven into the fabric of our life as a family that it is Ella’s baseline for normal. And so she does church with us now. We show up every Sunday for service, even when it interrupts her nap. She comes to small group and plays with the college kids on Tuesday nights. She dances while Mom and Dad play worship music in the house. She listens while Daddy practices his sermons. And she comes with us when we go on mission trips.

And she is learning a lot of things, even now, that she doesn’t have words for. And it is worth it. Because He is worth it.

(And, praise God for the Ergo. And for squeezie pouches that make it through customs. Amen.)

Church is For the Whole Family(or, why