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Never Enough: Living in Tension

February 11, 2021 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest article for Joyful Life Magazine.
You can read the entire article here!

I didn’t plan on working. And I didn’t plan on staying at home. To be honest, I didn’t have much of a plan at all when I went into marriage. We were still in school and young when we got married, and children seemed a long way off into the future.

I had worked in various jobs since graduating from college, but when our daughter was born on our seventh wedding anniversary, I suddenly felt the weight of work in a new way: working meant being away from her, and being with her meant being away from work.

Hope for When You Never Feel Like Enough

As a teacher at the time, her birth in May was convenient; I had the whole summer to get used to being a new mom. But the months sped by with unnerving speed, and before I knew it, I found myself in orientation meetings that August, combing the schedule for an opportunity to relieve my engorged breasts. I slipped away to pump during a break and tried desperately to keep milk from dripping onto my work slacks.

It was my first taste of the tension of being a working mom.

Read the rest of the article here, at Joyful Life Magazine!

Filed Under: About, Baby, God, Life, Marriage, Parenting

The Lens of Love: Writing and Rewriting Our Stories

July 17, 2020 by Ann Leave a Comment

This is the start of my newest piece for Grit & Virtue. You can read the full article here–it’s one of my favorites that I’ve written!

My husband was at home with the baby and I was at the library when I experienced my first – and only – panic attack. It was Fall; the air outside was just beginning to thin and tumble, threading its way through newly-bare branches and alleyways. I remember that it was dark, painfully dark at 6 pm. I was tired.

I sat at one of the large tables in the reference section, my notes and books spread around me in a cluttered half-circle. I work best with large amounts of space and quiet, something nearly impossible to come by with a new baby. It was a gift to slip away to the quiet of the stacks and write the book I was working on; it was something I had missed, acutely, for months.

I don’t remember feeling particularly stressed or anxious, but I do remember the pattering in my chest that started like a whisper and progressed to cymbals. I couldn’t focus and had to turn off the computer. My breathing became narrow and superficial; I felt like I was falling down even as I straightened in my chair. The room started hovering like hummingbird wings, and I had to close my eyes and lay my cheek on the cool of the table. I wondered if I was having a heart attack or a stroke and if maybe this was how I would die, here in the quiet of the library.

[Spoiler alert–I’m still here! 🙂 You can read the rest of this piece at Grit & Virtue!]

Filed Under: About, God, Guest Post, Life, Motherhood, Writing Tagged With: am I called to write, am writing, author, Christianity, God's faithfulness, Grit & Virtue, how do I write my story, Writing, writing for Christ's glory, writing my story

Goal Setting for the Non-Goal Setter

November 1, 2016 by Ann 2 Comments

I’m married to a man who LOVES to set goals–he has entire systems for goal-setting that help him live intentionally and thoughtfully throughout each year, month, and day. I deeply appreciate this about Michael; it makes him focused and purposeful in how he lives and in how he loves our little family.

But I happen to be on the “loose” end of goal setting; I have ideas in my head but I rarely write them down, and although I’m a very driven, productive person, I’ve never been excited to get my goals down on paper or really think through entire years or months at a time. The typical lists and formats that I’d seen for goal-setting really didn’t seem to help me–or inspire me.

Then, last year, I purchased my first ever set of PowerSheets through Lara Casey’s Cultivate What Matters shop, and my paradigm shifted; now I want to invest in making time to set goals! Ha! This happened, in large part, because PowerSheets is way of approaching goals that has been created by a woman who deeply loves the Lord. PowerSheets are not just about checking items off of a to-do list; they help you shape your life around what matters most and take steps toward living whole-heartedly, whether you’re a working professional, a stay-at-home mom, or a college student.

I LOVE PowerSheets and use them for both the personal side of my life and the professional side of my life, because this is a tool that helps me stay focused on not just getting things done, but on becoming who I want to become by the grace of God.

In short: PowerSheets have been a delightful game-changer for me. If you are looking for a way to intentionally approach this coming year with hope and peace and a heart that’s wide-awake and ready for what’s ahead, I highly recommend getting a set for yourself. They just launched today, and they often sell out, so click over and look into them for yourself!

Full disclosure: I’m a store affiliate for PowerSheets, but I requested the opportunity to do so because I believe in this product so much. I use them myself and encourage my Writing with Grace students to use them, too!

Filed Under: About, Ministry, Parenting Tagged With: Christian goal-setting, goal-setting, Lara Casey, living intentionally, Powersheets

Summer Stitch Fix Review (#3!)

July 20, 2016 by Ann Leave a Comment

I haven’t gotten a “Fix” for several months, but I had some credit built up and was looking for some pieces to refresh my summer rotation of clothes, so I scheduled a box for this week–and it came!

If you’re not familiar with Stitch Fix, here’s how it works: you order a “Fix” (a box of clothes) based on a style profile you fill out about yourself–colors, sizes, styles, patterns, lifestyle. A stylist picks five items for you (from skirts to tops to earrings to jeans), which are sent to you in the mail. The five items are a surprise! You try on clothes at home with the wardrobe you actually have, keep what you love, and send the rest back in a pre-paid envelope. It’s remarkably simple.

Why I like Stitch Fix in this season of life:

1. I’m not in a season where I can spend much money on clothes, and I can set my price point with Stitch Fix. Also, if I buy all 5 items in the box, there’s a 25% discount on everything.

2. I don’t have to leave the house. Three words: Kid. Time. Heat Index of over 100 degrees.

3. I can get a “Fix” as often or as rarely as I want. I don’t get mine regularly (although many people do); usually, I request a box when I have an event coming up where I need a specific item (a dress for a wedding, for example).

4. The cost is a $20 styling fee, which goes toward any item you purchase.

5. Stitch Fix works for women in almost any season of life. From teenagers to retirees, they’ve got clothes for women in many stages, sizes (even maternity!), and professions.

My box just came this week; here’s my review–so many great pieces in here (and I loved opening up the box to find these colors and patterns!)

First up, the Carmela Printed Crochet Detail Flare Skirt. The colors and are so fun, and while the pattern isn’t one I would have picked up in a store, the crochet detail above the knee is really lovely. I paired it with a casual tee shirt, which is right in line with my summer style. This is part of why I love Stitch Fix; I can try on the pieces that they send with what I already own and see how it will actually work (or not work) with my current wardrobe.

Carmela Printed Crochet Detail Flare Skirt

I’m honestly still on the fence about this skirt. It’s flowy and soft and the design is beautiful! I’m just not sure if I’ll wear it enough to justify purchasing it, as I already have a lot of skirts. What do you think?

The second item in my fix was the Roquette Off the Shoulder Tunic. Off the shoulder tops are all the rage this summer, and this top was airy, lightweight, and was comfortable to wear.

Roquette Off the Shoulder Tunic

I think I’ll be sending this one back; as cute as it is, I don’t have a lot of reasons to wear an off the shoulder top, and it was a bit baggy.

Ok, on to the third and fourth item in the box–the Lucienne Knit Maxi Dress and the Carlos Turquoise Stone Collar Necklace. I’m a bit of a pushover for a good Maxi dress–it’s like wearing pajamas all day but looking put together! And the Lucienne Knit Maxi Dress had me when I saw the strap/shoulder situation. I love the higher neck!

Lucienne Knit Maxi Dress

Here’s the closeup of the Carlos Turquoise Stone Collar Necklace. This is a fun necklace, with some really creative details, but I don’t think I’m going to keep it. I usually wear more delicate pieces (unless I’m rocking a 31 Bits necklace!), and I can’t foresee wearing this any time in the future.

Carlos Turquoise Stone Collar Necklace

The last piece in my fix was the 41 Hawthorn Merise Split Neck Tunic. My stylist gave me such a great fix–this top is right up my alley, too. It’s a little on the preppy side, and perfect for the crazy heat we’re having in the Midwest. Sadly, it was a little too tight in the hips for my preference, and going up a size would have made the top too big. It has to go back.

That’s it this time around–and it’s getting me excited for my next fix. Maybe this Fall? Let me know if you have any questions, and if you want to try Stitch Fix, please click this link and I will get a referral credit. And tell me how it works out for you!

Filed Under: About, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: carlos turquoise stone collar necklace, carmela printed crochet detail flare skirt, lucienne knit maxi dress, merise split neck tunic, roquette off the shoulder tunic, Stitch Fix

Seeing the Year with Thankful Eyes: 2015 Highlights

December 29, 2015 by Ann 2 Comments

‘Tis the season for year-end round ups, lists of favorites, and reflecting on the last year. I love this time of reflection between Christmas and New Year’s Day–it’s a short window in which many of us take time to think about what’s happened in the last twelve months and start to dream about what’s ahead.

And I love this week. Why? Because before we set our sights on the new year, it is very important to thank God for all that has passed–for his presence, his goodness, and his faithfulness to us for another year. We need to do this, not because God needs it, but because our souls need to recount all that has done.

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.
I will be glad and exult in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High. [Psalm 9:1]

When we recount the Lord’s goodness, it moves our soul to thank him–fitting praise for our Creator!

When we recount the Lord's goodness, it moves our soul to thank him. Share on X

For me, this blog post is one of the ways I am recounting his wonderful deeds to me and our family this year. We have to much to praise him for!

The past year was a year of change for our family, and it was hard in many ways. But it was also very good–and I am thankful for all of it, because it drew us to Jesus.

We moved to another state for my husband’s graduate work.

I left my teaching job at Wheaton College.

We endured serious sickness but emerged healthy.

Michael and I celebrated nine years of marriage!

God provided for our family in miraculous ways.

I signed my first book contract with Tyndale House!

I launched my online writing course, Writing with Grace (class starts in January!).
I also had some writing highlights that I’d love to share!

One of my pieces for RELEVANT reached a very wide audience and was their most-read article the week it was published.

My honest piece about parenting was named as one of Today’s Christian Woman’s top articles for 2015.

I got to write for the Redbud Post–the publication of the Redbud Writers Guild that I’m honored to belong to.

I wrote one of the pieces I’m most proud of for Today’s Christian Woman, about how I’m learning to accept my own body by teaching my daughter to love hers.

I was able to write for (in)courage a couple of times and always love sharing my words there.

Thank you for joining me here in this space. I’m grateful for all God has done and I look ahead to all that he will do in this coming year! What are you thanking him for?

Filed Under: About, God, Life, Marriage Tagged With: Ann Swindell, author, choosing gratefulness, eyes of gratitude, Writing

Courage, Writing, and Publishing: My First Book

November 6, 2015 by Ann 12 Comments

It’s a story a lot of people tell: that they’ve been writing since they were children, that they’ve been writing even when no one was reading, that they’ve dreamed about writing books for most of their lives.

That’s my story, too. I’ve been a writer ever since I learned to use words. First, I was writing my name and my age; a little later I was writing stories in blank books in second grace. Fast-forward a bit and I was writing my first poems, my first journal entries (diaries with locks and keys, anyone?), and then I was writing high school essays and fiction vignettes.

Photo by Ann White Photography

In college, I learned to write outside of my comfort zone. A few souls–professors and fellow lovers of Jesus–led me through the forest of words with their own machetes, and once they led me far enough, deep into the thick of language, they handed the knife to me. I started learning to cut out words in college, to make language mean in the ways I wanted it to, and to take risks to alter my voice on the page in surprising, exciting ways.

These are things only writers really care about–the lilt of a sentence, the shape of a phrase, the cadence of a line. And I found, the further I went into words and story and the grinding turn of revision, that I met God in the process of writing in deep, deep ways. I loved that when I wrote, I felt his nearness; I felt, more than anything, at home. I loved writing not only as a hobby or a passion, but as a career and as a calling. And so, I went to graduate school.

There, in graduate school, I was stretched nearly to the point of breaking–not because I was so wonderful as a writer, but because I felt so weak. I remember my first workshop in my MFA program, when I realized how weak my writing was. The other writers sitting around me used words more deftly than I did, and they commanded language with a precision I did not yet have.

And I had a choice. Was I going to keep writing? Was I going to keep trying?

No one was reading my words, other than a handful of friends and family. No one cared if I kept writing, or if I didn’t.

But I felt the courage of God to try, and to try again, and to try yet again. I stayed the course in graduate school because I wanted to see if I could do this–if I could write with power and grace and if I could find my own voice. And through the guidance of more professors–women who love Jesus and who wield words like flame–I learned. I grew. I found my voice as a writer.

That was years ago. I have still been writing, and I have been teaching, and I have still been seeking to grow and learn and stretch as a crafter of language. Although I write many places, I have been sharing my story and my heart in the form of a book that I have labored over in the quiet of libraries and coffee shops, unsure if anyone but Jesus would ever read it. I started this book not because anyone required it, but because I believe that this is part of the story I have to tell.

And just this past month, the team at Tyndale House Publishers offered me a contract to write this book with them.

I am more honored than I know how to say.

I am more humbled than I can express.

And I am grateful to the Lord for the chance to write a book about my story that is, hopefully, a book that is ultimately about His story and his presence in the world.

I can’t wait for you to read it. Although, you’ll have to wait–until 2017. Sorry! But in the interim, I’m going to write my heart out and, with His grace, seek to make this a book worth waiting for.

Thanks for celebrating with me!

If you want to join my online, six-week writing course for fellow writers, registration opens soon! Click here to learn more.